Drunken Hook-Up at the Family Reunion (not as incestuous as it sounds!)

The ginormous and amazing Cumming's Reunion took place last weekend (I'm getting to this blog a bit late!) at the Lewis and Clark Resort in Kamiah, ID.  I didn't know that there was a such a place as Kamiah until we were sent the invites for the reunion.  As it turns out this is a teeny, tiny little town along the Clearwater River about an hour past Lewiston, ID on Highway 12.  When we first drove into town we saw a huge sign for the Resort and right after the sign was a little pull off which led into the most backwater, piece-of-shit, rundown, tornado alley wannabe, hicksville trailer park.  Did I mention it was a bit shabby?  I told Hannah that if that was the resort then we were turning the car around right then and there and heading back to Moscow and spending the weekend with the twins and my cousin!  We drove around the whole town (which took about three minutes) and found a gas station.  A big old guy who looked me up like 'you are not familiar and therefore I presume you are dangerous' came to the counter.  He told me that the resort was two miles out of town past town.  I was thrilled that he hadn't pointed in the direction of the trailer park.

This was the REAL resort.  Much better.

We headed on toward the resort and when we got there I was still in a semi foul mood.  Not enough sleep... no enough gluten... whatever it was, I was just an angst ball.  After we got all settled and met up with my mom and aunt, we went to the auction.  Somewhere along the way I'd decided to overcome my sourness and just shut up and have a good time and so I did.  The auction was fun and I happened to have twenty bucks in cash on me so I bid on a few things and ended with two homemade dishcloths, a kerosene lantern, and a quiche dish.  The last one of these, sadly, lived only about thirty minutes in my care.  When we got back to the hotel room, Hannah accidentally sent it to a shattered death when she knocked it off the table.  Because of my awful mood prior she thought that I would be all kinds of mad.  Honestly I was actually pretty amused!  We cleaned it up and didn't worry too much over it.  

Perhaps the best part of the auction wasn't even winning.  The best part came when Joyce, one of ladies in charge of the genealogical and historical records for the family, handed me a binder and asked me to put Hannah in there as my significant other, "because she's part of the history of this family and should be in here."  Earlier my mom had asked if Hannah should be put into the tree as my partner and someone said that 'no, we don't like to put in significant others unless there's a child.'  I made some comment along the lines of, 'that ain't happening,' and just sort of shrugged it off.  Yes, Hannah and I would love to adopt or even carry babies with a little help from a sperm bank, but as far as 'bloodline' babies that would make Hannah connected to the family tree - well that isn't really a possibility.  BUT!  I guess the genealogy ladies had a little meeting about it, because there came Joyce, with a pen and a paper, asking me to put in Hannah's full name and an anniversary date (October 13, 2007).  Hannah and I nearly cried.  It felt like we were getting married almost and it made us both so much more relaxed at the reunion.  It didn't matter now if we held hands or gave a little kiss - she was part of the family.  Period.  

That night we went to a masquerade party with a New Orleans theme.  We drank some punch that took us from sober to drunk in two cups.  We sang Happy Birthday to one of the matriarch's who turned 80 over the weekend.  We hooted and hollered and huggled and found some wine to add to our punch drunkenness.  Soon we were 'three sheets to the wind' as some might say.  Wasted, I would say.  Pissed, the British would say.  Then came a game of Family Feud and since my number hadn't been drawn to represent the Cumming's clan, Hannah and I decided to sneak off for a few.  We giggled and looked at the stars - curiously they were moving in a circular pattern as we walked - and finally we made it back to the room.  It has never been more difficult to clean off a bed in my life.  My arms were all lead and my body was all string beans on wire, I was a stupid, horny, marionette, and I felt so ridiculously naughty.  

Yeah, it was kind of like that...

I've had a few drunken tumbles in the past (just make outs and a little fooling around) but never anything like this.  After nearly six years with Hannah, we finally did the dumb teenager thing and had a whirlwind of sloppy, gin-sweat, half-clothed, completely irresponsible sex!  It was over quickly (or we thought it was anyway, but we were so drunk that it could have been hours for all we knew).  

So loud... so very loud...

By the time we found clothes and straightened up our hair and got out asses back to the party at the Powwow Room, the Family Feud was over and so was the costume and mask contest.  People were slowly making their way back to their tents, cabins, and resort rooms - most of them rosy cheeked and glassy eyed.  We spent some time with mom and my aunt and then struck up a conversation with a family member whom I can't remember the name of and shared cute cat stories.  We got home again - holding each other tightly as the stars were still doing that swirly thing, silly stars - and then I cuddled mom and went on and on and on about everything.  Hannah played sober.  She edited pictures on her computer while I did the lovey, drunk thing.  I went outside for a bit and buzzed around a little cluster of old ladies (my aunt included) all chattering at each other.  While I don't recall what they talked about very clearly, I know that I laughed much louder than necessary and also made friends with a large beetle.  

The next day we smiled privately, adorable shame coloring out expressions, as we ate breakfast with the family.  I am somewhat amazed that we didn't have hangovers.  My mother and aunt stayed to take part in the family meeting but Hannah and I headed out fairly early.  We wanted to get home and relax before the work week and the barrage of homework took over once more.  On the way back we pulled over and took a ton of pictures of the river and whatever else caught our eye.  My favorite little detour was near Orofino.  We took Old Highway Idaho 7 and drove up to the base of the Dworshak Dam.  There were all sorts of scary signs posted that said 'we own your soul if you go past this point' and 'the first rule of the Dworshak Dam is to never talk about the Dworshak Dam.'  You get the idea.  So we took a picture or two and hightailed it back to safer territory (safer is a term I use loosely since the best kept sign in Orofino is an ad for 'Saw Sharpening').  

We only got to see the concrete side.  I had wondered if the water went all the way to the top and apparently it does. What a fierce looking reservoir!