Friday, September 26, 2014

Girls' Day Out - Hannamanda Edition

Today was all about the swag.  Hannah and I needed a girl's day/date day.  We had intended to go ghost hunting with S.P.O.T (which is lead by one of our friends in the IEPG), but that was moved to tomorrow.  Which means I can't go.  So instead, we went to Spokane to drop off a care package for a friend who's going through a hard time right now with some medical things.  We ended up spending the day doing girly, fun things. 

First we went to Lane Bryant and used my 'real women bucks' on two bras (probably the most comfy bra my huge boobs have ever felt), a new swimming suit top for me, a pair of yoga pants to share, and a pair of knee high boots for Hannah so she can be my sexy, witchy gal this Halloween.  We also got some nail polish to try.  After LB we went to Catherine's and scored some cute pants for the Hannah.  She's been sort of limited on what she can wear for bottoms and now she has a bit more variety available to her.  

From Catherine's we went to Casa de Oro and shared a combination plate.  But the day wasn't over yet.  From there we went to the Halloween Spirit store.  We walked around and looked at all the things, touched all the stuff, tried on a few hats, pushed all the 'push me' buttons and stepped on all of the 'step here' spots.  I screamed twice.  That damn lunging spider always startles me no matter how many times I push the damn button.  Also we saw the creepiest animatronic creature today called 'Broken Girl' which looked kind of like a combination of the girl from The Grudge and The Exorcist.  We pushed her button but she didn't activate.  I'm honestly kind of relieved she didn't move - her just standing there all broken-like and not moving was plenty scary enough.  

Lastly we hit up the Spokane Valley Mall and splurged on a Build-a-Bear Toothless (he's adorable!) and a crap ton of smell-me-goods from Bath and Body Works.  All in all it was a very materialistic day but it was good.  We needed to have some 'us' time and feel like normal people for a change.  Hannah felt super guilty on the way home but the thing is, once in a while, even poor people gotta have fun.  


I turned 31 this past Sunday.  For the most part it was a very low key birthday.  Hannah and I went to Spokane and celebrated Mabon with the IEPG folks the day before.  I reconnected with a friend, K, who I hadn't seen in about four years or so.  She has been through quite a bit life-wise and relationship-wise.  When I saw her on Saturday she looked happier than I ever thought she could be.  K moved out here to be with her partner.  I have to say it's a small world really.  We met K on the internet through Y!Gallery which is an art site specializing in yaoi (male x male) stories, drawings, and paintings.  At that point she lived in Texas.  After Hannah and I moved to Wichita, KS we were able to visit her a few times.  After we moved back up to the Northwest, K moved to the Northeast.  But now she's out here and about thirty minutes away from us!  I was worried at first that it might feel different or strange or awkward, reconnecting after such a long time but it wasn't.  It was very relaxed and, as I already said, she looks and feels so happy.  I'm glad she's here.  I really think this area is perfect for her.

After the events of Mabon, Hannah and I drove our other friend, C, home to Kellogg.  We stayed the night and did some tarot readings.  I absolutely love the journey spread associated with the Shadowscapes deck illustrated by Pui-Mun Law.  This spread is just perfect!  And it's really helped me be able to analyze the cards and link them together for meaning.  All lit students and writers should do tarot I think - readings rely so heavily on symbolism, interpretation, extrapolation, and repetition that it feels just like breaking down a novel in some ways.

The next day we spent some time with the parents.  Dad hurt his leg really badly during his trip visiting his sister and so we didn't go out and do lunch at Denny's as we'd planned, rather we ordered pizza and stayed in.  Hannah and I both worked on homework and then I got a lovely birthday call from my friend D.  We chatted for probably two hours.  We had lost touch for a while and we've been really working on keeping up our relationship via phone.  This has been a really good thing for me and I think it's been good for her too - tightening up the link between us and trying to encourage each other as we continue on our strange respective paths.  After all of that, Hannah and I went to the twins' house for the evening.

We chatted, did some tarot, and chatted some more.  B and I made up a new alphabet for private messages.  It makes no sense and yet perfect sense.  Who needs 26 letters anyway?  The next morning however, I got a present from my uterus.  Had to cut the birthday visit short.  At home I curled up in the recliner with a heating pad, some pain killers, and a cat purring on my boobs.  I snored through my first day as a 31 year old.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

You win some you lose some...

Two things happened at work yesterday.  Firstly, I accidentally spilled the beans on the assistant managers retirement party.  But come on!  She had to know we were throwing her one - it shouldn't have been a surprise at all.  That being said I felt like a complete jerk the rest of the day.  But she hugged me after work and usually I only get hugs from the coworkers before I leave for Boston or before one of them leaves for a long trip.  Or for birthday.  So this hug was spontaneous and I think it was meant as a 'it's okay, I won't tell anyone you spilled the beans' and also a 'I know you're applying and applying and things will work out somehow just hang in there.'  Which leads me to the second thing: I checked my voice-mail on the way out of work and the Spokane Valley Library called and informed me that they went with a different applicant.

Honestly, I'm not surprised.  Before I even stepped into that library for the interview I didn't think I would be getting the job.  Something didn't click. It was strange.  I'm not even really that beat up about it - I did sob hysterically last night but not over the library job per se, more over what not getting it means.  I'm in a tough spot now.  I have my second interview with Barnes and Nobles on Monday in the morning and weirdly enough this was the job I wanted from the start.  I have wanted to work at a book store for a very long time and when the assistant manager of B&N sat down with me, we not only clicked, I got really, really excited about how much fun this job could be.  Also there are ways to move up in the company rather quickly and that was excited to hear as well.  In fact, the young woman I interviewed with went from being a part-time seasonal bookseller to assistant manager in well under six years.  

The atmosphere of the book store is kind of magical, too.  And I think that if we boost up Hannah's resume that by the time they hire seasonally again next year she could really have a shot for some part-time work.  I don't know.  I'm frustrated because I don't know what to do.  If I take Third Key then I'll be busier at the bra store... and I don't think I can take the B&N job at that point.  But if I could do both for a while... if I could get my foot in the door in a job in Spokane... and maybe B&N wouldn't become a career or maybe it would but either way it would be a job that at least relates in some way to what I went to school for.  I don't know!  

I spoke with my mom today.  She's right.  First and foremost I need to focus on the MFA.  That will make me feel so much better than anything right now.  So today I'm going to relax (forget about the Library job), clean the house a bit, get my old Vizio ready to ship off, maybe hang out with cousin D for a bit, allow myself only a small fantasy about working for B&N, and then write, write, write.  I'm anxious about a lot of things and have had to use the inhaler more and more this past week.  This manic job hunt has not helped.  In October the Housing Authority of Spokane will open up Voucher applications and if Hannah and I can get one then we can still have a shot at moving out and moving into our beloved Valley 206.  So it's back to just having some faith I guess.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Interviews and Other Tripe

The other day there was a meeting for work.  We had muffins.  It was a pretty decent meeting over all but my manager announced to the rest of the gals that I might be leaving soon.  There was a group gasp, especially from the Assistant Manager who is retiring this November.  It was nice to hear the gasp.  They really don't want me to leave but at the same time they do realize that I can't survive like this anymore (or at least they better realize!).  Hannah and I need a life of our own and we've decided that for right now, Spokane is the right fit.  Now it's just a waiting game to see how quickly we can get ourselves there.

Today I completed interview number three.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  The first interview was for the position of Third Key at my current job.  I most likely will be offered the job if I end up staying at L'eggs Hanes Bali but if this ends up happening then it means Hannah and I won't be moving to Spokane anytime soon.  We need out but we're not willing to live in a shit hole and if I work as Third Key that will be all I can afford.  No.  We'll stay with mom and dad and continue to make things work until I can finally get a better job.  The second interview was for a very part time position with Barnes and Nobles.  This job would rock.  The only draw back is that I can't accept it unless I'm moving to Spokane because there's no way in hell I'm driving all the way from Post Falls to work at the Spokane Valley mall for $9.50 an hour.  It's a generous rate actually and I really want this job but I can't commute that far.  I would have to live in Spokane Valley for this to work.  The third interview was for the Spokane Valley Library as a Public Service Associate.  This one would be a career maker and I would be able to do the Barnes and Nobles part time to supplement enough so that we could afford to live in our dream apartment.

The idea result would be the acquiring of two jobs - the Library and the book store.  The I don't know that I will be getting either, in fact, I'm not holding out much hope for the library one.  They will call me on Wednesday and say yes or no.  It's unfortunate that they are waiting until Wednesday because on Monday I have a second interview with the store manager of Barnes and Nobles.  They'll let me know probably by Monday as well.  Sadly though, if they call and say yes, but the library calls and says no, then I get neither.  This is fucking stupid.  Tonight I'm doing more job searching.  Tomorrow Hannah has to call her school and sort out some financial aide issue.  My enthusiasm for life is waning.  This blog took a very negative turn here, I'm sorry about that.  *Breathes*

On another note, mom and dad are out of town for ten days which means I am going to hole up in the living room this weekend and work my ass off for my packet.  My mentor allowed me to skip the packet that was due on the tenth of this month and make up some work for the October 1st packet.  I can't let her down.  Letting her down is letting myself down and one damn thing has to work out for me, right?  I have to graduate otherwise what the hell was the point of all of this stress?  Back to the drawing board on jobs.  I suppose I'll have a really happy blog on Wednesday or a really depressed one.  We shall see.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

The good is that I have an interview tomorrow with the District Manager for the L'eggs Hanes Bali store in Post Falls.  If I do well, I may be offered the position of Third Key.  This is good.  But even better is that next Thursday I have another interview.  This one is for the Public Services Associate position for the Spokane Valley Library.  I want this one.  Oh, I want this one so bad!  I'm happy that I made it to the interview stage (and what's even more exciting is that they called me the day after I dropped off my application!) and as long as I don't make a fool out of myself, I think I have a really good chance.  If I do land this job, that means that Hannah and I will be getting out asses to Spokane in the very near future.

We have looked online and in person at several apartments in the area and the one that we've both pretty much fallen in love with is Valley 206.  This apartment complex has everything we could possibly want and it's one of the more reasonably priced ones that we checked out.  The location is a little strange and it's going to suck during heavy ice and snow this winter but, hey, that's why we have a Jeep, right?  Also it's super close to the Library where I *crosses fingers* might be working.

The bad is that this computer - the one I am using until my new Vizio laptop arrives - is really just about kaput.  There's a double line running vertically on the monitor where some pixels have frozen or broken somehow, the front corners of the main body are chipped away and cracked, it runs at an astounding glacial speed, it is given to overheating, and today I broke the 'F' key.  Not an F1 or other various F key.  The 'F' key.  The one I use to spell fuck.  Normally this would only be a minor set back, but today is Death Man day and I've had some major issues getting the story down when the F key flips off the keyboard when I use it too frequently.  Oh, well.  New computer will be here soon, I just have to keep telling myself this.

The ugly is my dirty little secret: I'm obsessed with No. 6.  I have read the first six volumes of the manga and seen the first four episodes of the anime.  It's been a great source of inspiration for me with Death Man as it features a religiously driven hegemonic society that calls itself a utopia but is, in fact, a monumental dystopia.  The main characters Rat (Nezumi) and Shion remind me a bit of my Death Man and Simon but not in any way that makes me go 'oh no, my novel's already been written!'  No, this story is nothing like Death Man but has a similar enough flavor that it has nourished me in my own endeavors.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Plans and Plots

I cannot say for sure but it seems my other coworker has bowed out of the 'Third Key' race.  While this means I have a much better chance now (almost a guarantee), I don't feel any better.  I'm excited for this job but at the same time it won't be enough money for Hannah and I to take the next step in our lives and move to Spokane.  I adore my parents but it is time.  It. Is. Time.  We need to be responsible individuals living on our own again, making all the decisions, decorating how we want, cooking how we want, staying up and sleeping in, or vice-versa.  We need to be independent!  And Third Key would help but it would be just another step up the retail ladder that I plan on abandoning someday in the future.  However, there's another job, a library job, that I'm applying for in person tomorrow.  I don't think it will pan out but if any of my readers can spare some positive energy... this is kind of the one I want.  Bad.  It is same amount of hours as Third Key but almost twice the pay and it has the makings of a career.  Also, books.  Lots and lots of books everywhere!  And I would get to play with them all day!  It just seems kind of like the perfect job for me.  

No matter what I hope I at least get an interview.  The application is one of those that you fill out on the internet and have to print out right away because the information doesn't save.  Well, I did the backspace thing a couple of times where you have highlighted more than just one line and then push the button and the entire page goes back, not just the text.  So I lost the application twice.  Had to refill it it out over and over again.  I now have everything about my last three jobs completely memorized.  Not something I'm proud of.  Anyway, the application is a three fold: long ass application, spruced up resume, and a signed cover letter.  All of this must be turned in by tomorrow at noon.  I will be there a bit earlier because I have to be back in Coeud'Alene to pick up my friend's brother and drive him home from NIC, but also because I kind of hope they talk to me a little bit.  Even if it's stupid chatter, I hope the Human Resources people remember me.  And then I hope they call me back in for an interview.  And then I hope they hire me.  I could really see myself being happy at a job like this.  And I tell you what, it would be nice to have enough money to actually make it for a change.  

Tonight, before I began the brutal process of filing out and refiling out the application, I read three new pages of Death Man to my mother.  She was pretty invested in what I wrote and she's a bit surprised with how different its turning out.  Cutely she suggested we sit down together and work on the story all day on Thursday.  We're going to storyboard the whole thing (or finish what I started in the storyboard department) and I'll pump out the next few scenes.  I'm glad she's showing such interest and attention.  It should be fun and honestly she's a pretty tough editor/slave driver when she wants to be.  And her reaction to the new pages was, for the most part, exactly what I would hope for from an audience so that was rather encouraging.  Onward and upward I go with this stupid novel!  It's been the bane of my existence but it's getting somewhere, slowly but surely.