Thursday, May 5, 2016

Fuck me Gently with a Chainsaw and How to tell if an Engineer is an Extrovert

Dear Diary, my teenage angst bullshit has a body count. Or something like that. It has been a very long time since I've updated this blog. In a few words: things have been busy. But it's when things are busiest that we must remind ourselves to slow down and smell the roses. Or the Cupcake Petunia's at Walmart. I smelled those today and wanted to roll around naked in their petals they smelled so damn good. So here I am, taking a moment to breathe and center myself. 

There have been some very large changes in my life. Hannah and I have an apartment. We have a date for the wedding! (Friday the 13th in October 2017, if you must know.) I got a promotion at work. I'm a Lead now and I like it. And I loathe it. Pretty normal for being a Lead I suppose. I've joined in several D&D campaigns. In January I led the Wolf Moon Esbat Ritual and it was one of the most magickal Moons I've ever had. Such energy, such howling! I'm starting to practice Tai Chi and I have a Yoga DVD that helps women with menstrual pain.

David Bowie died. 

This spring Hannah and I planted several pots of flowers and created an herb wall on the back patio. I'm very impatient. Waiting for green is making me crazy.

As for writing, I'm lagging off in a bad way. Matthias is never far from my thoughts. Neither is Brom, the artist, who, as of late, has been my constant inspiration. Beltane happened recently. I celebrated with so many lovely people. There was a Wedding too. And I danced and sweated and drank and ate pizza and cinnamon rolls and honored the gods and gave myself over to the spirit of the season. As a result I'm ready to get. shit. done.

Also I'll be stepping off the Pagan Ministry Council next week. I want to do it in person. Hannah already resigned a few days ago. It was a rather large decision for her and there was some fall out that we had to deal with last night that made for a rough time. At this point in our lives though, the energy we're putting into the logistical side of the IEPG is just too damn much. We need to be working on school, work, writing, keeping our home and hearth happy and welcoming. We need to actually spend time together every once in a while. 

And something really cool happened a few moment ago out back. I went outside to water the herbs and flowers and I found half of a Robin's eggshell nestled under the Cosmos flowers. My Cosmos flowers that I planted on Ostara. It probably ended up there during the random and gorgeous thunderstorm we had last night. The little shell, so fragile, so blue, just sitting there as if to say that fragility is an illusion. Reminding me of new life. Of leaving old shells behind. I took the little shell inside and put it on the altar next to Freyja. But the eggshell wasn't my only gift from the goddess: some of the herbs that I'd figured weren't going to grow at all, have actually sprouted. I'm not sure what is what but I know that about five pouches from the herb wall are actually going to grow to fruition. I'm not holding out much hope for the Lavender but the fact that anything is growing makes me smile. 

At work I talk to some really awful, bitter beasts. But I also talk to sweet and wonderful people. One of these sweethearts called up for a vacation stop and while I was entering the information, he shared a few jokes with me. In turn I shared a few with him. The first one he told though, is my favorite: "How can you tell if an Engineer is extroverted? When you're talking with him, he stares at your shoes instead of his own." Some of you will giggle and some of you will frown and say, 'I don't really get it.' And that is why this joke is my favorite.