Oracle Time

Friday the 5th: I drew Death. And, because it sort of jumped out at me: Scrying. The Death card was particularly interesting because earlier that day I had expressed my fears to a friend, telling her how during the darker time of the year I always imagine my loved ones and myself as dying somehow. To draw the Death card was a good reminder that death is part of life and not to be feared or conquered and also that death itself is the beginning of the cycle. Again, solve et coagula. Something must be taken apart (die) before something new can be formed (born). Pagans put death at the beginning of the life cycle. Death is the great beginning. So something is starting for me - on the surface it is definitely the beginning of my tough emotional time - below the surface perhaps I'm going to start some spiritual and creative projects. The other card that jumped out at me, Scrying, is a card that calls us to abandon the desire to make logical sense of everything and to let our subconscious feel and understand. Mostly the card wants the drawer to try the actual act of scrying and so at some point during this month or Samhain season I will definitely give it a go.

Saturday the 6th: Invisibility. This is the second time I've drawn this card. Again it is a call to reveal my true authentic self and to be careful of my desire to be invisible.

Sunday the 7th: Skull of Light. A reminder to let my true self shine forth. A great follow up card to the Invisibility card. It speaks to 'stop hiding.' We can stay in the dark, Exist only in the midnight hours, But shining the torch, The victory is ours.   

Monday the 8th: (weirdly enough, I knew I would draw this card today) Skull of Stars. Why think so small when galaxies spin within? Realize that you are made of the stuff of stars and infinite possibilities begin. This card talks about broadening your view of the future and your role within it. Also it mentions letting go of old beliefs that no longer serve you. For me this means moving forward and researching some of the darker/stranger things that have called to me lately.

Tanabata 2018 (Photos and Script)

Quick update: Hannah went to the ER and got her gallbladder out on 7/7! Yay! Without health insurance the cost of the surgery is enough to purchase a new vehicle! Boo! But we are so poor that the hospital is writing it all off... so yay again!

Because Hannah's gallbladder decided it wanted to jump ship on Tanabata, we pushed back our annual celebration to the following Friday the 13th. This is totally my jam. I get pretty super excited over three celebrations: Yule (and Christmas Parties), Halloween/Samhain, and then Tanabata. There are other various things that get me really excited but these are my set big Holidays. For those who might not know what Tanabata is: it's a Japanese Star Festival celebrating wishes and love. I'll include the play I wrote for the celebration at the end of the blog post - but for now, behold all the pretty things:

My favorite sushi! Vegan and delicious.
This was my share item for the potluck. I brought 6 packages.

We strung a rope across the yard to represent a bridge across the Amanogawa (Milky Way) River.
Below the bridge is our Altar. 

Overview of the Altar. The long packet in the middle contained consecrated wish strips called tanzaku.

Another view of the Altar. 

We burned this absolutely lovely Japanese incense.
(Not very Shinto, I know but we loved it and it appealed to our witchy sensibilities!)

Hello Kitty Lantern decoration for the bridge.

A long view of the Amanogawa bridge.

These were Hannah's balloons that mom and I brought her for after her surgery.
We offered them up to the Amanogawa as well.

I had lots of different decorations for people to try and mostly people did the lanterns,
but someone did the pretty dangling rhomboid chain. I love it!

Here's a view of some participants and a sweet goblin child with red glowing eyes.
She's a mini-me. I love her!

Check out the exciting crystal ball in this picture!

Just a fun shot of the Altar.
You can see Orihime really close and in the distance is Hikoboshi.

I love this fox. He's guarding the tanzaku.

Excellent close up of the after festival treats!

Rachel of Lavender Moon Bakery provided two cakes to represent the lovers
 and Hannah baked Milky Way (Amanogawa) cookies!

                                                   

Across the Amanogawa

A short play for Tanabata

Retold by Amanda LaFantasie

Narrator: A long time ago, in a Kingdom in the Sky, there was a beautiful princess called Orihime. She was a very talented weaver and seamstress and she made the the most beautiful robes in all of the Sky Kingdom. Her father, the Sky King, was very proud of her and praised her often. For many years Orihime weaved in happiness, but as time wore on, her smile began to falter. The King noticed his child’s diminishing mood and grew worried.

King: I’ve watched you working these past few weeks. You look sad, my child. Do you no longer enjoy weaving?

Orihime: It’s not that. There is nothing I love more than weaving and bringing joy to those who wear my garments. But I’m lonely. All of my sisters have married and moved away to live with their husbands and I miss them.  

Narrator: This got the King thinking. Perhaps it was time that his treasured daughter should also take a husband. So he journeyed across the great Milky Way River, the Amanogawa. There he searched for a man honorable enough and brave enough to marry his precious daughter. He searched until he was exhausted. He went to the field where the Sky Kingdom’s best cows grazed on the finest grass. As he walked among the cows he rethought his plan. After a while, a young cow herder named Hikoboshi approached him.

Hikoboshi: I hope I’m not bothering you, but you seem troubled. Is there anything I can do for you?

King: Only if you can find me an honorable man worthy of marrying the most beautiful girl in the kingdom.

Hikoboshi: I’m very sorry but I don’t know anyone like that. I’m all alone now that my brothers have taken wives and left their herds to my care.  

King: You mean you watch all of these cows by yourself? Doesn’t that get stressful?

Hikoboshi: Not at all. There’s nothing I love more than tending the cattle and keeping them safe.

Narrator: The King asked Hikoboshi many questions and, in the end, invited him to dine with the Royal family in the Sky Palace that night. The cow herder hated to leave his cows but knew it would be rude to refuse. So he made his way across the Amanogawa to the Sky Palace. The King made sure to seat Hikoboshi next to Orihime and before the night was through the princess found something she loved more than weaving, and the cow herder found something he loved more than tending his animals. In no time at all, they were married.

[King ties a ribbon around their clasped hands]

Orihime and Hikoboshi: I will love you until the stars burn their last flame.

Narrator: With each passing day their love for each other grew. Over time they forgot about things like weaving and cow herding. Soon the fine garments of the Sky Kingdom became tattered and torn, and the prized cows across the river began to wander. They left their safe field and traveled on rocky, dangerous ground. They ate grass that made them sick and many of them died.

King: Orihime, you’ve neglected your duties far too long. Look at my robes! They’re in shambles. I’m the Sky King and yet I look a beggar. Get back to your weaving and sewing!

Orihime: I’ll do it. But please, allow Hikoboshi to sit with me as I sew.

King: Absolutely not! Hikoboshi, you must leave at once and go back across the Amanogawa and tend your cows.

Hikoboshi: I’ll do it but I won’t leave Orihime behind. Please, let her come with me and join me as a cow herdess.

King: No. I forbid it. She will stay here and weave and you’ll return to the fields. Your King commands it.

Hikoboshi: I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but if she stays, then I stay.

Orihime: I won’t be alone again, father. If Hikoboshi must go across the river, then I have no choice but to follow.

Narrator: The argument continued until the King had no choice but to remove Hikoboshi by force and banish him back to the field across the river. To make sure that his daughter stayed in the Sky Palace and did not run away to join her husband, the Sky King destroyed the only bridge between the two banks. With a mournful heart, Orihime resumed weaving and sewing. The Sky Kingdom dressed in fine garments once again, yet somehow they were less radiant than everyone remembered. Across the river, Hikoboshi returned to herding the cattle. They regained their health, yet somehow the beasts were less impressive than they’d been in the past.

King: I had to do it. They cared only for each other. They didn’t care about the kingdom anymore. If I’d left them alone we’d all be naked with no milk and no meat. The kingdom would fall into ruin. Wouldn’t it?

Narrator: Orihime worked diligently. But she never smiled anymore. The King didn’t want to recant on his order but he couldn’t stand to see his daughter so miserable. After a long time he came to a decision.

King: The kingdom cannot do without its best weaver and its best cow herder. But, because they cannot do without each other, I will allow Orihime and Hikoboshi to see each other one day each year. On the seventh day of the seventh month, I will order the magpies of the sky to fly down and form a bridge between the banks of the Amanogawa. That is how they will meet and part.  

Narrator: And so, every year after the King’s proclamation, the lovers met on the seventh day of the seventh month. Sometimes the princess would travel to the cow herder’s side. Sometimes the cow herder would travel to the Sky Palace. But always, when the time came for them to part, the King’s magpies would seek out and carry the displaced lover back to their own bank. Many years and many meetings later Orihime’s weaving resumed its former brilliance, and Hikoboshi’s cattle grew into extraordinary beasts. But what they were most proud of was the vow of love they had managed to keep despite the river that ran between them.  

FIN

Ostara Top 12

We have moved past Ostara and are headed like a comet toward Beltane/Walpugisnacht. During my Ostara celebration at the end of last month I composed a list of ways that we can enjoy the gifts of the goddess this spring. I'm going to try to take pictures of me performing each item of the list but we'll have to see. 

1. Meditate on something you want to do this spring. Maybe you want to plant something, maybe you want to visit a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Meditate on the joyful results you wish to manifest.

2. Spend some time organizing a room in your home. Make sure it works for your needs. If you are always ramming your knee into a table, try moving it. If you can never find the remotes, try making a small space just for them.

3. Eat something you enjoy very slowly and meditate on the way it makes you feel and imagine it becoming fuel for your body and thank the Goddess for the gift of the food.

4. Spend some time being creative in nature. Draw a picture, write a poem, or take a picture (or do all three) of something beautiful that the Goddess has given you.

5. Wake up at dawn and greet the morning. You might light incense or read a poem to the Sun. Let the Sun and the Goddess know that you are thankful for the lengthening days.

6. Go outside at sunset and greet the Night. Cherish it, for it grows shorter each day until Midsummer. Ask the darkness to watch over you as you sleep.

7. Play in the mud.

8. On a windy day, go outside and dance. Observe the way everything moves around you and let nature teach you the moves.

9. Open up all the windows of your house to let in the fresh spring air! Let the Goddess’s breath flow through the rooms and renew the life force of your home.

10. Put a flower in your hair, or behind your ear. Wear it all day to remind you of your connection to the growing earth around you.

11. Spend time with a tree. Read to it or play it music. Hug it and thank it for being part of an ecosystem that keeps you alive.

12. Lay on the ground and stare up at the sky. Let the clouds tell you a story with their shapes and, if there are no clouds, get lost in the hues of blue and understand that the universe is open before you and you are indeed a part of it.

 

Coughing for Christmas

This Tuesday will mark two full weeks of upper respiratory infection. It feels like it's been months. The worst of it is over. I no longer have the fevers, the shakes, the horrible congestion that makes me throw up and piss myself. I feel, for the most part, like a regular human, except that now I am a coughing machine. I suspect it's the damage I've done to my throat and airways over the past two weeks that are keeping the cough well and alive. Which means I'm right back to dealing with piddling here and there because I can only take so much coughing before my eyes water, my nose runs, and my bladder leaks. Today I couldn't get much out without being winded by cough. At work I sounded horrible and after work, at my mom and dad's house, I sounded even worse. 

We went to see my mom tonight and do a little Christmas shopping. (The roads were fun in the "wow, maybe this was a horrible idea, we might die!" kind of way). We don't have much money and many of our friends are just getting the flat Hannah and Amanda versions of ourselves that we are working on. But even in tight times I still like to treat my Hannah and my parents to a stocking full of goodies come Christmas morning. For Hannah and I we open gifts in honor of Yuletide, but with the folks we will always do a Christmas thing. There is something very magical and mysterious in the quietude of Christmas morning when the whole world (or at least a generous portion) takes a break and just watches a loved one open a gift. Doesn't matter what the gift is... somewhere in the world little hands are tearing at tissue paper, a teenager is breaking in a brand new karaoke machine, a husband is ignoring the instructions as he puts together a bike, a dog is gnawing a new bone, and a cat is playing with a wrapper. That's what Christmas is to me - a time of year when secular, Christian, and Pagan traditions all come together to invite fellowship. No matter what entity or vision of Santa Claus a person celebrates, they are still celebrating. Even the bah-humbug, Grinch-wannabes are participating in the energy. Whether they want to or not. The harder you look away, the more energy you are sending out. 

And I'll be spending most of this magical morning with my Dispatch rep at work. There will be no customer calls that day. I'll mainly be providing carrier line back up and checking emails. I plan on bringing in something yummy for her and I to munch on as well as bringing in Dutch Bro's coffee for us. I am Starbuck's girl through and through, but my Dispatch Peep is all about the DB. One thing I've learned being a lead in newspaper circulation: keep your Dispatch happy. So I swing the way of the Dutch Bro's when I'm there with Dispatch. It's a small sacrifice to make to keep the world turning. 

Speaking of circulation and all that jazz, today was made of suck. It was so stressful and so busy and I had to wrangle so many attitudes. And all this while coughing out a series of distressed foghorn signals and trying not to fill the cushion of computer chair with Prednisone scented piss. I have one day left. Tomorrow I work from 7:30 until 4:30pm. After that I'm free for over a week! With Hannah applying for disability much of that free time is going to go toward doctor's appointments but still, that's a much different level of stress than going in to work to listen to the pre-Holiday rage that always seems to happen to the customer class right before we get the magical Christmas morning scene. This month has turned out much busier than I had wanted it to and I'm a little worried that any time off I have is going to fly by so fast it'll leave my head spinning.Still I'm going to make the most of my time away from work. I'm going to recharge and get ready for the new year and hope that at the very least 2017 will see me free from persistent coughing. 

Update in Scenes, Happy Halloween

A Halloween party: people gathered round and being silly. Beautiful candied apples and cupcakes galore. A fire in the hearth, a black poison punch... spilled in my crotch. I mean like really in my crotch. Intimately in my crotch. Shower and back to the party. Giggling and feasting, high energy, overwhelmed moments, sneaking away to play Panda Pop. Also I made leeches. Word to the wise, don't put gummy worms in a punch if you ever want to enjoy gummy worms again. Of the parties we've had this year, this group was the smallest. We felt no need to play party games. No Ouija and no Vampire. But the party did not suffer for it. Late night with friends and sleeping in the next day. A great introduction to the intensity of Halloween 2016.

Had a pajama day yesterday at work . Late paper protocol - could do this in my sleep. A bit crazy but still hanging in there. I was excited for tomorrow for Halloween at work. And excited for Halloween tomorrow night and then for tarot and Ouija in the first week of November to celebrate the cross-quarters. We are celebrating Saturday night with friends.

A few things that happened yesterday: I drove home behind a large black truck that had a ton of fallen and crisp pretty leaves in the bed. As we drove along an unending stream of autumn confetti drifted in gorgeous figure eights and whirls all around me. I grew a beautiful pumpkin, perfectly orange flesh and symmetrical, and today we discovered that it has been stolen. Of the three pumpkins I grew to fruition, my father and mother have the itty bitty one and I have the misshapen greenish monster (which I love very much), leaving the super model pumpkin in the hands of a thief. I'm telling myself it was a child who was seduced by the pumpkin's beauty and has now lovingly carved it into further perfection. That will be the truth.

I haven't kept up on my spells. But even in the few I've managed to offer up in this blog I've learned a great deal and continue to learn. I'm out of touch with my Book of Shadows. I'm out of touch - or feeling a bit out of touch - with the divine and the energies around me. So I'm learning. I'm learning to get past this, whatever this is. 

A myriad of dead and dying bugs fell on me after I stepped off the bus the other day. It was disorienting and upsetting and they clung to my jacket and my face. White fuzzy bodies, almost like fluff, wings veined and minuscule, legs kicking in death and suddenly my black clothes are dotted with puffs of passing. 

Went to Creepy Hallow two nights ago. Drank coffee-cocoa and walked through an Insane Asylum in the woods. Lots to look at, hard to see it. So dark. The best part was hearing shrill screams and maniacal laughter echoing through the trees, mixing with woodland mist and the ghosts of my breath. A tall ghoul clown came up to me. He sniffed me and I sniffed him back. He was wearing a cologne that made me hot. Wish I had asked him what it was. Almost like Armani Code but not as sweet. Ghoul musk. He followed me creepily. I was scared and excited. He touched my hair, gently letting locks drip through his fingers. I kind of hoped he would follow me through the whole forest. I'm taken and all but Halloween is a time for thrills and chills and he was doing a pretty decent job of both. Made it through the forest! Sprained my ankle on the way to the car. Figures. 

Didn't buy these the other day, but really wanted to. Any food with Vampire in the name sounds amazing. Even kale chips.

Last night I made a water mosaic. That's what I'm going to call it. I filled a punch bowl with water and Rowan berries, fallen Maple leaves, other leaves, two mini pumpkins, and the shell from my Golden Apple snail. Tonight we'll consecrate the water by adding moon charged water: the water is rain water from the roof terrace of my work, gathered in the dark morning hours after a full blood moon. 

Not sure exactly what mysterious fun awaits us for tonight. A ritual perhaps? Some meditation on the dead? Divination and Ouija? We'll find out later. For now I'm just doing my best to stay awake and alert. Tonight is the night when the world waits together for transformation, unveiling, and dark beauty. 

Witchcraft by the Book - Some Thoughts

So I've been studying some good old fashioned Witchcraft via "The Inner Temple of Witchcraft" by Christopher Penczak. I am one chapter in and I have a few things to say: 1) I'm not sure I agree with him that you have to study and have understanding of the basics of why and how before you can actually write, perform, and truly feel rituals and spells; 2) I love the idea that the term "witch" does not trap you or pigeonhole you, but instead opens you up to an infinite number of possibilities of spiritual and vocational roles; 3) at the end of chapter 1 he invites us to define witch for ourselves and I would like to share that now. 

Witch, for me, is anyone who actively works with nature and the archetypes of the divine to sow healing and wisdom into the world. I fully expect my definition to change over time. In fact, it may change by the end of the second chapter. But for now that is how I define the term of witch and I think it does its part in waylaying of our society's skewed perception of the word. The thing is, a great many people are witches who would never call themselves 'witch' and that is perfectly fine. But it should also be perfectly fine for anyone who is a witch to be able to call themselves that. As it stands now, we will never have a witch for President (not that most witches would want to be, but you never know), and we'll never have a witch at the Head of the Department of Education. Or at least we'll never have an outed witch in these roles, but considering what a witch is... wouldn't it be lovely to have one running the county? I certainly think so. But I digress. 

As for the first thing I mentioned from the reading: I do not believe you have to have a core understanding of the logistics, terms, and meanings in order to be successful in writing spells and rituals. And I certainly don't believe you have to 'know' about witchcraft in order to benefit greatly from attending a ritual. Yes, the more we know the better. But the first few times I attended ritual with the IEPG I didn't know anything about any of it. I knew the term Wicca and I knew that Wiccans didn't believe in the Judea-Christian Satan figure. That would be the extent of what I thought I knew. And even that was wrong... because it's not a matter of 'believing in' or 'not believing in.' Eclectic witches, who may or may not be Wiccan, may or may not utilize the archetype of Devil (for example: the Devil card in tarot) in their practices. Or in the case of myself, I enjoy the Judeo-Christian myths and archetypes as part of the global mythos of the world I inhabit. So, essentially, (Socrates moment here) I really didn't know anything. And I still don't. Knowing is different from knowledge and knowledge is different from wisdom all of that is very different from feeling. I had a very profound experience the first few rituals I attended and the intensity of discovery continued during New Moon discussions and other discussions/classes through the IEPG. I learned that I wanted to learn more but even without delving too deep into the etymology of words, the 'how' behind spell crafting, and the 'traditions' of ritual working, I was already up and running. I feel that a great deal of my personal growth has come from learning on my own. Yes I ask questions and yes I go to my trusted witchy friends for extra guidance and help but I never let me lack of knowledge of the basics hold me back. I do not know if my experience is a unique one or if many people come at their path with blind faith and a running start. But I know that for me I didn't need to know a lot about ritual to know that I wanted... needed... to lead some. 

I will add a caveat here. Perhaps I did have all the traditional learning and 'basics' knowledge necessary through my Catholic upbringing. Catholicism is just a hop away from mysticism and just a god/dess short of paganism. I learned about ritual and 'spell' working through Catholic mass. I learned about conjuring/incantations during the transubstantiation of the bread into flesh and the wine into blood. I came to learn of Holy days and also developed an understanding of cross pollination of religion as my Catholic congregation took great pains to pay homage to the Jewish Passover ritual every year around Easter time. So perhaps I was lucky in that I did have a knowledge of the basics necessary to have a profound experience during my first Pagan rituals. But regardless, I believe that a feeling (or a calling) toward rituals and spells comes from the collective subsconscious of humanity. While we may not know the terms for what we are doing and we may not know the reasons we do them in this way, many of us are performing witchcraft just fine. 

That is one of the reasons I wanted to do the spell challenge for this month. The best way for me to learn and grow is through coupling book learning with hands on trial and error. Some of these spells are going to suck, let's just face that. But I think that as I continue to work through my fifteen, I will learn invaluable lessons that I can apply to not only spell writing but to other aspects of witchcraft and daily life.

Spell 2: Tarot Attunement

Spells can take many shapes and serve a myriad of purposes. They are small (or large) sessions of spiritual therapy and growth. Since a rather large interest for me, spiritually and psychologically, is tarot, I've decided that today I want to work on a spell that features my relationship with tarot. As I've mentioned before, I believe that inanimate and 'non-living' things respond to and manipulate energy. For example: places and objects can be 'haunted.' And water, flash frozen, reveals emotional ice crystals based on the energies presented to it. So it only makes sense that to really get the most out of your tarot/oracle deck or other various divination tools, you should work on your relationship with them. You should attune.

I use tarot quite a bit and like to spend time with the decks I use the most. I often carry a deck with me to work or shuffle though cards before bed. Now, it is generally understood that to get a good reading from tarot you want to cleanse it of energies before use. I don't worry so much about cleansing. I shuffle and hold them to my chest and I feel that helps prepare myself and the cards for the reading about to commence. But overall, whether bursting with energy or stagnant and sitting, the cards do have a sort of life and personality of their own. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

For this spell you will need one tarot deck (pick one you're pretty excited out). The aim here is to attune to the deck to help you have an easier time understanding what the deck is trying to tell you in readings. You might also say that attuning with this instrument will help you understand what the divine has in mind for you as well. So here goes:

Take your tarot deck and place it beneath your pillow before bed. Say these words:

"I am open to receive. I am open to understanding. I will never abuse the information you share with me. I respect your sacred mission to aid me on my path and in turn you have my trust."

The next morning, bring the tarot with you wherever you go that day. Keep the deck in your purse, pocket, or even held in your hands. That evening, as the sun sets, or as the night draws on, honor the tarot in this way: Gather a cup, an athame (or sword if you prefer), a small coin (a penny will do), and a small branch/twig to be the wand.

Lay out the deck before you, touch each and every card. With the deck laid out, lift the cup and say:

"I'm ready to journey with you beneath the moon's reflection on the water of my soul."

Return the cup. Lift the wand and say:

"I'm ready to journey with you and embrace the fiery passions that flourish within my heart."

Return the wand. Lift the coin and say:

"I'm ready to journey with you to and explore the sensuous secrets of the body."

Return the coin. Lift the athame and say:

"I'm ready to journey with you above the mire of confusion, to clarity of mind."

Return the athame and laid your hands on the cards. Say once more:

"I am open to receive. I am open to understanding. I will never abuse the information you share with me. I respect your sacred mission to aid me on my path and in turn you have my trust."

You are done with the spell/attunement at this point. I don't know for sure if this qualifies as a spell, per se, but I am eager to try it and get to know a few tarot decks better. I don't know if I would try this with more than one deck at a time since the purpose is to really open yourself up to a deck and get it to trust you in return. Perhaps this is a one deck at a time thing. Like a date. Or friendly one on one time. For me, a deck is a friend. It may be that the very deck itself is your friend or it is a phone, instant messenger, or post-it note board that helps you communicate with your friend (i.e. the divine). But just like a friend I like to play with the cards. When I say play, I do not mean that I take divination to be a joke. Play is the word I use when I want a relationship and I think after performing this attument spell, I'll be able to play even better with my dear decks. 

Spell 1: Protection

What is a spell. This is going to be my own opinion and I know that other people may view spells differently but here goes: a spell is a set of words (sometimes rhyming, sometimes unspoken), often accompanied by a set of tasks (spreading salt, stirring a potion, etc.) that channel intention and energy toward a specific or generic goal. In essence I would say that these spells are mini rituals and as such can involve tools, ingredients, and any number of physical symbols to aid in raising energy for the success of the spell. 

Since I've been thinking about this spell project for the past several weeks I've, naturally, been looking up various spells and formats and talking to friends about their own experiences with spells. Some websites that I've perused: spellsofmagic.com, gothwitch.co.uk, spellsandmagic.com, and free-witchcraft-spells.com. The truth is there are hundreds of ways to create and cast a spell. I'm only going to create and cast fifteen spells during this month and I will barely touch on the expanse of creative potential that comes along with spell work. But to get us started I'm going to write out and cast a protection spell. (The writing part is today and the casting part is tomorrow). 

Just a note: if anyone wants to try these spells please do! And if you wish to change them up a bit to better incorporate your particular needs or path, that is perfectly all right. If anyone does try one of my spells throughout this month (and if you are willing to share your experience) I would love to hear about it in the comments section or private message. That being said here we go!

Tools: 

Fresh sage (or powdered and consecrated sage from the kitchen)

Magic Salt (or consecrated salt)

A bowl of Shrine water (or consecrated water, or moon charged water)

Smudge stick

A white candle (or whatever color best represents protection for you)

The plan: find a quiet space with little distraction. Create a small circle with the leaves of the sage. Place a cup of shrine water as well as a white candle within the circle. Light the candle and take a moment to ground. When you're ready, sprinkle salt into the water while saying these words:

"Great Lord and Lady, Faeries and Sprites, 

Creatures of Magick, and all of our Wights,

All spirits within, all spirits without,

Help keep us safe, beyond shadow of doubt."

Hold the smudge stick in your hands. Close your eyes and envision a white glow all around you that extends to the boundaries of your home (to the car in the parking lot, to the pumpkin patch out back and maybe even along the walk ways around your apartment). Speak these words:

"Shield of love, O perfect light,

Keep me safe both day and night,

Protect us from harm, protect us from wrong,

Protect kith and kin and all who belong."

Light the smudge stick from the candle. Walk the house and smudge all corners of every room. Continue to chant "Shield of love" if you wish or just envision the light spreading and flooding your home. When you are finished return to the circle of sage. Extinguish the smudge stick (if you wish you can dip it into the cup of shrine water or you can extinguish it with a shell). Take the cup of shrine water and go to the front door and wet the threshold with about half of the cup's contents. Speak out loud that you welcome those who mean you no harm and that you cast out and reject all things of ill-will. Go to the back door and repeat this. Return to the sage circle once again repeat what you said at the beginning: "Great Lord and Lady..." Thank the gods and the good spirits around you for helping your spell. Extinguish the white candle. You are done. 

Obligatory Birthday Blog

So I leveled up. At work they kept saying "oh, now you're finally 21!" They said it so much that when I got home on Wednesday last week I was actually a little confused and had to think "how old am I really?" Well I'm 33. The age Jesus was when he died. The composite of 3 eleven year olds. Not a bad age really. And besides. I don't really care much about age. What I care about is the party that sometimes accompanies the 'aging' process. I had very nice birthday. On the day of, my work decorated my cubicle and chair with confetti, streamers, balloons, and signs that said: Happy Birthday Amanda!! And my two bosses spoiled me with gifts. They gave me a Grumpy Cat coloring book, a package of colored pencils, a giant writing prompts book, and a quill ball-point-pen. It made me feel so very special. And at Dungeons and Dragons one of the players gave me a package of M&Ms wrapped up tight with packing paper. On the paper it said, "Happy Birthday Lars  Amanda" which was adorable. I really enjoy my D&D time with the boys. Even though most of our characters just about died during the previous encounter (fucking spiders and fucking Drow) it was really great way to spend lunch time on my birthday. 

My Friday party was nice. I felt bad that we didn't do it in the club house - not that we really could have since our Apartment management team sort of said "We're out and about so come and find us for the key," on the day of our reservation. It was a very full house and a bit cramped. And one guest in particular was sort of antagonizing, but it turned out very nice and I'm excited to do some more painting in the near future. 

My twins from Moscow came up for the party. They stayed with us through the weekend and played Coven with us on Saturday. I really enjoy that game. It's very bizarre and you really don't know who's going to win until the game is over you do the maths required to suss out the winning Witch. The more we play the easier it will be to teach other's to play. I can't deny that I'm slightly curious about the game expansion called Coven the Village. From what I've read about it, this expansion gives you plot to the otherwise stream of consciousness type game play. 

On a personal note: I really truly cannot believe that summer is over. I didn't really do anything for Mabon and I feel like crap about it. I've never celebrated Mabon! And it makes no sense to me. It's my birthday Sabbat for goddess sake! But then again, I think that perhaps I've always celebrated it, just not in the traditional ways. I've always had treats and gifts and songs and fun. I've always spent Mabon with friends. All of my Mabon'ing' has been experienced through my birthday celebrations. That makes me feel a little better but next year, I think I'll skip a traditional birthday and seek a true second harvest celebration and spend an entire day in the balance of light and dark. Hannah got me David Bowie's last album and a book about Elen of the Ways. Perfect birthday gifts. Maybe next year I'll let Elen be my birthday goddess and guide and we'll take the celebration out into the woods and fields. Maybe we'll follow the deer trods as I level up to 34. 

Letting it Go; Helping it Grow

This was the pumpkin plant as of the 23rd of June. And I thought he was so big!

I sat down yesterday at work and wrote about the things I need to let go of. Firstly, I need to accept the loss of two of my favorite rings. They were both opal - lab created for one and most likely fake for the other - but they were important to me. One signified my engagement and the other was a beautiful gift to Hannah from her grandmother. I'm very sad that they are gone but at the moment there is nothing I can really do about it other than try to call all the pawn shops in the area to try to track them down. But today is not for wallowing in loss. Today is for a rebirth into the hot months of summer and then into fall. So we're going to rearrange things and clean things. 

This is the pumpkin plant now. I had to replant him into the ground instead of the blue tub.

I also had to move the tomato plants! Little pumpkin plant took over.

Secondly, I need to let go of all my email trash. I need to clean up my inbox (sort and delete as necessary) and make it place where I can keep track of things better and be more efficient at responding.

Forget-Me-Nots - when they were first starting to bloom.

Thirdly, I need to go through everything in the spare bedroom and continue getting rid of things that no longer serve the Hannah or myself. We are doing a pretty good job of that but alas my Bowie room remains a complete catastrophe of excess and has yet to become a true office. 

The first of the Marigolds to show their beautiful faces this summer.

And this leads me back around to my plans for rearranging. I'm going to create an office in the bedroom. I would love to go in there and work on writing. It's quiet and cool and there's gorgeous tree and plant life right outside the window. Also I could go in there and work even when we have guests over if I wanted to. The trick for me would be to get a comfy seat and a little pull out table. I might pick another one up today at the store. 

So many beautiful Marigolds now. Took this photo today. They just keep blooming!

Life is really busy. I've learned recently that, religiously speaking, I prefer interacting with the divine through nature and deity acknowledgement. I guess you could say I like being a totally typical pagan. My lifestyle is a combination of Witchery and Heathenry but religiously I'm a total 'go with the goddess flow' kind of gal. I had thought perhaps I might be more Jodo Shinshu Buddhist but... while I love and wish to live by much of Buddhist philosophy, the religious aspects imparted by the Jodo Shinshu Buddhist Priest I spoke with a few weeks back do not really jive with me. At least not at this moment. But in the future who knows!? That's what Buddhism is all about: impermanence and a life full of 'nows.' I love the idea that we only have the now and should spend our time making the now as happy as possible. Tomorrow I may feel differently and that's alright. Each now builds on the last and continues to shape the person that I am in the moment. And I want to work toward being the best person that I am able to be in each now.

A Bachelor Button. It was one of the first. We've had
blue and purple and pink ones off and on for the past month.

That being said I want to speak about my garden some more. I'm really finding an inner peace in working with the plants. The other day I thought about Masuru Emoto's experiments with water crystals. How water (an allegedly non-sentient element) reacts directly to positive and negative energies. I thought about how soil and air also must react these energies. I want to give 'happy' water to my garden and plants. I want to share my love of growing things with the soil and air so that the green things growing there are imbued fully with the happy water, happy earth, happy carbon dioxide, etc. I think about the sun and wonder if our energies are strong enough to make it to the center of our solar system and the answer is - why not?

And here is one of our vertical garden survivors: the proud and flowering Catnip!

And here's who loves the Catnip. She loves it fresh but I want to dry some
so she can have it for smelling and playing in later in the year.

This whole planet used to worship the sun and the moon and the earth and all the things that made up life. And in return for that worship, weren't people rewarded? Why can't a rain dance actually bring about rain? How can we live in a world now that is so disconnected from the reality of energies and intention? You get out of life what you put into it. You have to put love in the family recipe or it doesn't taste the same. You have to thank the sun for giving us warmth and life and you have thank the moon for giving us cycles and tides and the push and pull of emotions and deep dark beauty. And you have to love and honor the earth for every single day you're alive. I think the most aware I am of life and energy is when I spend time with the green babies in my back yard. It's nice to feel that connectivity and it's that understanding that will help me let go and live in the moment and rearrange my house. And make the most of my day. And my life.

And a final look at the large pumpkin plant. It's probably taking up twenty feet now.
I love this plant and I like to think that my love is part of why it's so huge and healthy!

Silverwood, Sherman Alexie, Impromtu Idaho

Two weekends ago the twins came up from Moscow and we had a really great time. I didn't get to do anything for them on their birthday in March so instead, we all went to Silverwood with my mom and we spent the day looking at all the cute little shops, riding many of the rides (Corkscrew, Timber Terror, Tremors, Panic Plunge, Tilt-a-Whirl, Roundup, and the wave pool of Boulder Beach Bay), and relaxing. We enjoyed tea and coffee at the Victorian Coffee House and while sitting outside under a tree, were blessed with a view of hundreds upon hundreds of bumble bees buzzing around the blooms of the tree. It was a nice scene. Lots of walking (over five miles!). Lots of people playing Pokemon Go. 

When we got back to my place, Hannah was cooking us a nice meal. The twins and I decided to run to the hot tub and soak for a bit since we were sun burnt and sore. While there I took off my engagement ring and the ring of Hannah's that I'd been wearing for the past ten or so months. I set them beside the hot tub and forgot them when we all left a bit later. I remembered pretty quickly that I'd left them and rushed no more than twenty minutes later but the rings were already gone. I'm trying to get my apartment managers to watch the footage and help me track down my rings but I don't really think they give a shit. Meh. I'm angry at myself for losing the rings and trying to make it a lesson against materialism. Except... it was one of Hannah's rings that I lost too. And that one is the one I'm really sad about losing. 

That week at work, a few things happened. Firstly, we finished moving our department from the lobby level to the third level. It's going to take some time to adjust I think, but so far I like it. Not sure what the future holds for me right  now, but I'm going to just embrace impermanence and live in the now. Right now I have A, B, and C. I won't worry D until D comes to pass. Nothing lasts forever and all we really truly have are the moments happening this instant. 

And speaking of nothing lasting forever, on Thursday, my supervisor's father passed away. I guess technically he entered a vegetative state. I'll know more about all of that later but for now, my heart really goes out to my supervisor. She is a very sweet person and a total daddy's girl. I cried for her the night after I heard about what she's going through. That same day, another coworker learned that her mother's cancer had come back. So it was not a good day for a lot of us. I was in a funk. That night I went to Stitch and Witch feeling distant and weird and it made Hannah really upset that I was so out of it. Once I got in there though and did some shitty coloring (and oh man was it shitty!) I felt a bit better. Also I got to see my favorite Free Mason there and he did a neat Tarot Name reading for me. I love hearing him talk about the Tarot and love his kind, soft energy. I'm really glad he came to Stitch and Witch and I hope he keeps coming. 

On Friday, as I walked to work from the Plaza stop, I saw a sign outside the Bing Crosby theatre announcing that Sherman Alexie would be reading there that night. So instantly, my Friday night plans were made. I had Hannah meet me downtown after work. We grabbed a quick shitty meal at McDonald's and then saddled up for the show/reading. It was exactly what I needed. Brought back all the good memories of the MFA program and restored in me some of my old passion for the written word. I've been very depressed and lackluster about writing lately but seeing Sherman, listening to him, watching him move and engage the crowd. Getting his signature. It was a great evening. That night I slept pretty well. Satisfied after spending the evening with Sherman Alexie. And it was good that I slept well because I was wearing an oxygen tester on my index finger. It's the first step to finding out if part of my overall health and attention issues are due to sleep apnea. I don't want to have sleep apnea, but if I do have it, I want to be treated immediately. I want my energy back!

The next day, Hannah, Fiona and I all went to the Perry Street Fair. I went mainly for the Buddhist Temple Open House but it was fun to see all the vendors and feel the creative energy. Unfortunately I was already starting to get sick so I didn't get quite as excited and inspired as usual when I go to things like these. However, there was a strange and endearing moment: Hannah had left me for the car and Fiona was up the road checking out the rest of the vendors and I had managed to find myself in a little throng of people watching a street magician. He was wearing all orange and had a dry, understated sense of humor that really worked for him. I love magic shows. I know there is a trick to it... I know that there is some kind of mechanical answer to every mystical feat but I don't fucking care. Bring on the illusion and deception and the magic! This orange street magician was pretty fun. At one point he nailed a giant nail into his nasal cavity and this he told us wasn't actually a magic trick, that it was a carnival thing and then he kept starting and stopping so much that his audience was about to have a heart attack. A tall man beside he grabbed my arm and asked if it was okay if he clung to me during the trick. I said yes. So we watched and sure enough the man hammered the nail straight into his head via the sinus. It was so weird and I loved it. 

By Saturday night I was feeling pretty goddamn awful health-wise. It felt like I was getting bronchitis, you know... like I always do. And so I drank lots of fluids, took 1000 units of Vitamin C and headed to bed at about 9 or so. But it was awful and I couldn't sleep. Finally close to 3AM I texted my boss telling her I wasn't sure if I was going to make it. I did get about an hour and a half of sleep before dragging my ass into work. I kept a running dialogue with my boss via text. She was checking up on me, making sure I was doing okay. Well I survived the work day and then drove home. Only I was so out of it that I passed my Pines exit. Passed three other exits. Passed Liberty Lake. And then saw a "Welcome to Idaho" sign. Apparently my sick brain had decided to go to my parent's house for a while. 

So I went to see my Dad, my Mom was at my Aunt's house. And Dad took care of me, put me to bed, brought me tea, patted my back during a coughing fit. Ellie Bellie, the black Persian, also played the Nurse. She kept curling up with me in the bed. I maybe got another hour of sleep before I couldn't take laying flat anymore. Dad was so cute. He was going to pull out more chicken from the freezer so that I could stay for dinner but I told him I had to be getting back so Hannah wouldn't worry about me. He managed to make me stay longer, however, by tempting me with a corndog. But after the corndog, and the microwaved quesadilla, and the coffee, and more Ellie cuddles, and conversation about how horrible people are (we were watching the News), Dad finally let me go.

That evening while watering the pumpkin plant, I found an infant bird. It looked as if it had fallen out of the tree while trying to fly or had somehow been injured. We put in a large box with a towel to keep it comfortable. A friend of ours who knows a bit about birds told us that was the best thing to do. That the parents would come for it later if it was meant to live. The next morning it was dead.