Does Not Compute

I 'picked' the wrong one!

So I have a new laptop now.  I've had about a day to access the pros and the cons.  The lappy that I ended up with has it all going on inside - it is as Hannah's dad says 'faster than snot.'  It is a Vizio ultrabook that is slick and sleek.  It does not have an optical drive or an ethernet port.  Did I mention it's slick?  But the external stuff is where I'm not super thrilled.  Inside - this baby is awesome and the graphics are wonderful - but on the outside we have a keyboard that drives me up the wall.  To give you an example of my frustrations this blog was actually started yesterday and I got to just before this sentence when I gave up in a fit of sobbing because every time I pushed a button it either didn't hit or it hit twice giving my text an overall drunken appearance, not to mention that the placement of the mouse pad made it impossible to type without clicking down somewhere else and having to stop, readjust, and start over.  This being said, I am currently using my large and luscious 17.3" screen Acer Aspire.  I bought this about three years ago after a good tax return and I love this computer for its mammoth gorgeousity (that is, too, a word!  Just ask Anthony Burgess!) but I am a bit of butterfingers when it comes to hauling this beauty around and have dropped it several times.  Now, aside from a red line that runs vertically along the screen, and a subtle rattling from within it's perfectly fine, but I figured it might be time to retire it to Netflix console and use a different computer for my heavy duty word processing and also to travel with me to the residencies in Boston.  Also new toys are fun, nuff said!

The Pretty Loser

The Usurper PC

But the cute little Vizio (which, by the way, was only $500 straight up at Walmart) is not turning out to be such a fun new toy.  I'm going to sleep tonight and take a deep breath in the morning and then try and type something, anything.  It's so slim and the keys are just a millimeter above being completely flat that I just can't work it.  This computer has got the brains and I would say it's got the body too, but if we're going to keep with that metaphor, this bitch ain't got no hands.  So to speak.  It's pretty to look at and it'll wow with you graphics and speed, but for a person who's main reason for having a new laptop in the first place is quick typing, it's just not the perfect match.  Again, I am going to give it a little more time (a minute or so, I suppose) and then I'm going to take it back to Walmart and tell them that for my needs this little beauty just isn't cutting it.  If they take it back and give me a full refund, which they damn well better, then I'll return home and put in an order for a Samsung.  The mouse pad is where I need it to be and the keyboard is reminiscent of my Acer.  I think this might be a better match.  I have to check out a few more things but the only other option out there is an Asus that is a pinch cheaper but also bigger.  I really would love to keep the screen size down to 14" if possible just to make travel and mobile use a little easier.

Hannah scored well with her computer purchase.  The only drawback to her sexy new Toshiba is the dreaded Windows 8.  After hearing her fuss and fume at the awful Operating System I am very convinced that I lack the shitolerance (and yes, that's a word as well, as coined properly by Venise Berry) to deal with the multitude of asinine steps to not only get into your computer but to also put it to sleep and shut it down.  Also there's no little start menu button and that pretty much obliterates my little world.  There will be no Windows 8 for me, thank you very much!  My girlfriend's father shared a video on his blog a while back when he first encountered the atrocity of Windows 8 and I highly recommend it for a good laugh, but bear in mind that the reason it's so funny is because it's true.

Or this one looks wonderful too!  Love the graphics.