Creative October and New Job

Tomorrow is the beginning of October Craft Month! I have a lot of creative ideas. Sometimes getting them out of my brain and into existence is a real challenge so we'll see how this goes. I'm going to try to post a week or bi-weekly update here on the blog to share my creations. This is something my friend D and I (as well as Hannah) have decided to do. I'm going to answer three questions after each project's completion: 1)What was the project? 2)Did you complete it? 3)What did you learn from the project/about yourself? This is going to be a hard month for me to be able to complete this project because I'm also starting a new job. Yes, that's right. You read correctly! I'm going to be shifting gears away from the comfort (and occasional frustration) of the good old bra shop to an office job. I'll be working with phones again, but this time with a smaller group of people (12 counting me) and in a more intimate environment. It's for the Newspaper. Which excites me immensely.

The interview went amazingly well. The Lead of the Circulation Department called me about two hours after the interview and offered me the job. I'm still sort of in shock about the whole thing. My current boss was not thrilled, but she knew this day was coming as I have been telling her of my job hunting efforts for the past ten months. Everything has happened so quickly. Tomorrow I'm going to do my drug and background checks and then I'll start after the 8th. The 8th will be my last day at L'eggs Hanes Bali. I feel incredibly surreal about the whole thing. But at the same time, I feel a tremendous sense of relief as if I've taken a real step forward. Life is going to be very different--and I'm going to become a morning person, gods help me!--but it is going to be fulfilling and utterly worth it. I have a lot of writing goals for the end of this year and working in a building teeming with creative energy certainly can't hurt.

Crafts, Moon, and Library

This upcoming October is going to be very busy and very fun I think. My friend D and I have decided to do a 'craft something everyday' challenge. This means we have to start and finish one project everyday during the month of October and these things can include crochet, other crafts, writing, cooking something unusual, etc. And they can be a group project as well as long as you make a large contribution. Essentially we're just doing it to have a little fun and give us something to brag about or lament over each and every day. Hannah and a few other friends are doing it too!

In the mean time, I get to lead a "Corny" Corn Moon Ritual for the IEPG this coming Monday. I might post a little bit here after I get the whole thing written up. This wasn't supposed to be my moon but the gentleman who was going to lead it had some unexpected things come up at home so now I'm going to do my best to lead the moon and keep with the corny theme that he had originally wanted. We'll see how that goes. I'm excited but nervous too. I only have a few days to prepare. But I find, typically, I work best under pressure so let the writing begin!

And in other news, I'm still very stressed about the job hunt. I was supposed to hear back this week from the Spokesman-Review (the lady said they would call me with a yes or a no, but they would definitely call me!) and so far nothing. I just checked the library page for Spokane and Spokane valley and they have three new job openings. They all close October 7th. So I'm thinking I'll write up the letters and get everything ready and then either turn it in tomorrow or wait until the day before the last day to turn it in. What I want more than anything is to be given a damn chance. If you aren't going to hire me at least let me fuck up in the interview. Don't 'not' hire me without talking to me. I'm a great employee! And I need a career. Please just give me a damn chance. 

Ever Seeking, Never Finding

I've been applying for technical writing jobs in the area and I'm not feeling the love so much. I know that it's not personal, I know that I'm a talented individual with much to offer and blah blah blah but sometimes, rejection after rejection after rejection can really start to feel personal. I feel like I deserve a good job. I deserve a good life. Don't I? Maybe I don't. Maybe I'm not as good a person as I thought. But of course that's just insecurity and depression talking. Isn't it?

I'm completely useless right now. I'm not writing and I'm not working a job that can give us the things we need. I work at L'eggs Hanes Bali for a pittance that keeps allows me to make minimum payments on all the credit cards I had to get to supplement my pittance. Right now the priority has become the job. Which is unfortunate. I wish the priority was writing. But circumstances outside my control make it impossible for it to be the main thing. I guess. Ugh.

I keep feeling that if I just get a good job, and just get an apartment so that we can have our own space and all that, that things will get better. And this is kind of bullshit. Things are always going to be in chaos and I know that. I just want a break from being a bra-fitter, a break from being a grad-student, a break from debt, a break from life! And I won't get a break from anything so I just need to suck it up and keep applying. I'm afraid to even think about the student loans.

Onward and upward. I'm going to be applying for Tedder Industries today as a creative copywriter. But here's the thing, it's to write about second amendment rights and conceal carry. While I'm comfortable with guns in my house and comfortable around guns, I don't know that I want to tell the world they need guns! I don't think most people should have guns, and I also believe that if outlawing all guns this very instant would help with the violence in our country I'd give up my gun in a heartbeat. So how am I going to work for a company whose success hinges upon more and more people getting guns and conceal carry licenses? I know I could do my job, but will I feel good doing it, is the question. I guess I'll cross that bridge if I get a damn interview. I haven't managed one of those since 2014. I'm getting a little discouraged.

List Update and Tacos

Recently I reconnected with family from Colorado. My "long-story-short" adoptive Auntie and Brother were up here for the weekend until today. I learned a few things while they were here. Some of the things I learned were incident while others were directly because of the visit. Nevertheless, here are some of the things I learned about myself, about others, and about the universe this past weekend:

1. I absolutely hate celery seed. There are times I will tolerate the hint of celery in a sauce or the actual presence of it in a stew, but celery seeds are repugnant.
2. I believe in olive oil. 
3. Frankie can't handle his liquor. And he doesn't like being laughed at either.
4. Taco Tuesday!
5. In the great debate of money versus happiness, I choose happiness, much to the chagrin of my Auntie who seems to think that money will make everything all right.
6. I don't really want a government job.
7. Nearly all of my close friends and associates (the people I hang with) suffer from mental/physical problems. Many rely on SSI. And almost everyone is poor. Some are making it, some are struggling. Some have worked damn hard to get where they are and are pillars of humility and generosity. No one is rich. Not really. And all of my friends are fragile from time to time. And yet I still like them and don't want to hang with a "better" crowd.
8. Did I mention Taco Tuesday? $6 all you can eat tacos every Tuesday at Azteca after 4PM!
9. It really bothers me when people come into my home and try to "retrain" my cat to better suit their expectations. This is her home. Back off.
10. I don't like Kohl's.
11. I'm so Borderline sometimes that I cannot fucking function.
12. Depression meds are my friend.
13. I love skulls on my clothing.
14. I love opals. And I want an opal in my engagement/wedding ring.
15. There are people out there who are unaware of marriage equality. Their ignorance disturbs me.

"You want me off this table? Oh, well, it doesn't hurt you to want. Pbbbbbt!"