A.D.D. and a blog that's all over the place!

Life has been incredibly complicated lately. In March, Hannah, F, and I went to Seattle to drive F to a wedding.  We visited my aunt and cousins, went out to Whidbey Island, visited the Tsubaki Grand Shrine in Granite Falls, and had a wonderful time. When we got home, however, we took our sweet baby Galen to be put down at the emergency vet's clinic. His bronchitis had turned into something much worse and he was fighting for breath. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Until that night, I'd never been present for the final moments of any of my fur-babies. Somehow I'd always been away (school trips, college, too young to go in, etc.), but with Galen I was not only in the room, I was the one holding him. We said our goodbyes and he went limp in my arms. We were a mess.

After that life picked up again for a while. I fell ever more behind on my novel - working and working on parts of it and nit-picking so slowly that I thought I would never get a full draft done in time for the second reader. But in the end, I did. I took four days off from work and spent every single waking moment sitting (on the couch, on the toilet, at the library, at the table, on the bed, in the living room, at the desk) and writing. I became physically ill and perhaps mentally ill as well. Between writing bouts I would tromp around that apartment like a gorilla or laugh maniacally and alternate between screams of "I can do it!" and "I'm going to diiiiiieeeeee!" I didn't expect to finish but I did. Just barely though, I finished shitting out the final part of a major chapter at about a quarter to noon on Saturday and then ran to Fed-Ex to catch the overnight pick up by 1:15. I printed everything out, snapped it together and sent it on its way for about fifty bucks. A hefty price but if I manage to graduate then its a price I'm willing to pay. 

After that I went to work. My boss has been a negative Nancy since our previous Assistant Manager retired. The new ASM is a nice person and I like her but I don't know if she's the perfect fit for the group of girls who work here. When it's just her and me working it's great, but some of the other girls have issues and on some days it feels like we're in middle school again. And I hated middle school. I desperately need a different job but now that it seems I shall be graduating (and please, I still need everyone's prayers and positive energies on that front), I will stop looking for the moment and focus on looking after I return from Boston in July with my MFA! It should be easier to get a decent job after that but we'll see.

In other news, I just got the class list for the MFA residency and I'm very excited. I'm going to start reading the required pieces tomorrow. Now I just have to update my bibliography, get a decent synopsis written by the first of May, and have a revised and *finalized* draft sent to Sandra by the fifteenth and I'll be looking pretty good. Then I have to detail out what I'm doing for my class - I think I shall take lots of notes while at work this next week or two - and get my workshop pieces written and ready. And then I shall take a huge breath. Also I'm going to write down every single date that I need off from work in the next two months because I'm tired of missing rituals and celebrations. I am going to miss the IEPG celebration Beltane this Saturday and I sort of want to do something fun on my own, but what I'll probably end up doing is just going to Hastings after work to participate in free comic day. Not quite the welcome to fertile summer that I had hoped for. 

Other, other news: Hannah and I will be adopting my aunt's cat, Ray. He's an older kitty (I think he's about 8 years old) and she wants to re-home him. I understand her reasons and I've told her in the past that I adore the kitty and if she needed to place him somewhere that Hannah and I would take him in a heartbeat. Well, she has agreed to send him our way. I just hope Narcisa can handle a new big brother. He's a gray short-haired complete lover boy and I cannot wait to welcome him into the family. I would like to have a welcoming ritual for him as well as a remembrance ritual for the boys (our sweet babies Yoda and Galen). The kitties are a huge part of our lives, emotionally and spiritually, and I want to express that in a divine way. 

That's all for now. Blessed be and good night. I took today off to just relax and rest and tomorrow begins the next chapter of a very stressful novel called 'my life.' 

Oh also, F and a few friends of our with the IEPG think I need to get checked out for Adult A.D.D. I've always had attention and focus problems but they seem to have escalated to a very destructive level lately. It may be that I just need to adjust my anxiety and depression medication but something definitely needs to be done. 

And in other, other, other news, my poor father is suffering from the same type of infection that I had in January. It seems he and I are cellulitis twins. Lovely. His infection is in his leg which really sucks but at least he isn't having to go to the hospital every twelve hours for IV antibiotics. I do have some good news about all - I sent in all the paperwork to see if our county's social services could help me out some with the bill and they not only helped, they wrote off the entire thing. All nine invoices are now balanced at zero. When I got the letter in the mail I nearly cried I was so happy. Maybe things can keep looking up. Dad is going to get better very soon, mom is going to get a new job this fall, and I'm going to graduate and so will Hannah! These things will happen. I have to believe it.