Tanabata 2018 (Photos and Script)

Quick update: Hannah went to the ER and got her gallbladder out on 7/7! Yay! Without health insurance the cost of the surgery is enough to purchase a new vehicle! Boo! But we are so poor that the hospital is writing it all off... so yay again!

Because Hannah's gallbladder decided it wanted to jump ship on Tanabata, we pushed back our annual celebration to the following Friday the 13th. This is totally my jam. I get pretty super excited over three celebrations: Yule (and Christmas Parties), Halloween/Samhain, and then Tanabata. There are other various things that get me really excited but these are my set big Holidays. For those who might not know what Tanabata is: it's a Japanese Star Festival celebrating wishes and love. I'll include the play I wrote for the celebration at the end of the blog post - but for now, behold all the pretty things:

My favorite sushi! Vegan and delicious.
This was my share item for the potluck. I brought 6 packages.

We strung a rope across the yard to represent a bridge across the Amanogawa (Milky Way) River.
Below the bridge is our Altar. 

Overview of the Altar. The long packet in the middle contained consecrated wish strips called tanzaku.

Another view of the Altar. 

We burned this absolutely lovely Japanese incense.
(Not very Shinto, I know but we loved it and it appealed to our witchy sensibilities!)

Hello Kitty Lantern decoration for the bridge.

A long view of the Amanogawa bridge.

These were Hannah's balloons that mom and I brought her for after her surgery.
We offered them up to the Amanogawa as well.

I had lots of different decorations for people to try and mostly people did the lanterns,
but someone did the pretty dangling rhomboid chain. I love it!

Here's a view of some participants and a sweet goblin child with red glowing eyes.
She's a mini-me. I love her!

Check out the exciting crystal ball in this picture!

Just a fun shot of the Altar.
You can see Orihime really close and in the distance is Hikoboshi.

I love this fox. He's guarding the tanzaku.

Excellent close up of the after festival treats!

Rachel of Lavender Moon Bakery provided two cakes to represent the lovers
 and Hannah baked Milky Way (Amanogawa) cookies!

                                                   

Across the Amanogawa

A short play for Tanabata

Retold by Amanda LaFantasie

Narrator: A long time ago, in a Kingdom in the Sky, there was a beautiful princess called Orihime. She was a very talented weaver and seamstress and she made the the most beautiful robes in all of the Sky Kingdom. Her father, the Sky King, was very proud of her and praised her often. For many years Orihime weaved in happiness, but as time wore on, her smile began to falter. The King noticed his child’s diminishing mood and grew worried.

King: I’ve watched you working these past few weeks. You look sad, my child. Do you no longer enjoy weaving?

Orihime: It’s not that. There is nothing I love more than weaving and bringing joy to those who wear my garments. But I’m lonely. All of my sisters have married and moved away to live with their husbands and I miss them.  

Narrator: This got the King thinking. Perhaps it was time that his treasured daughter should also take a husband. So he journeyed across the great Milky Way River, the Amanogawa. There he searched for a man honorable enough and brave enough to marry his precious daughter. He searched until he was exhausted. He went to the field where the Sky Kingdom’s best cows grazed on the finest grass. As he walked among the cows he rethought his plan. After a while, a young cow herder named Hikoboshi approached him.

Hikoboshi: I hope I’m not bothering you, but you seem troubled. Is there anything I can do for you?

King: Only if you can find me an honorable man worthy of marrying the most beautiful girl in the kingdom.

Hikoboshi: I’m very sorry but I don’t know anyone like that. I’m all alone now that my brothers have taken wives and left their herds to my care.  

King: You mean you watch all of these cows by yourself? Doesn’t that get stressful?

Hikoboshi: Not at all. There’s nothing I love more than tending the cattle and keeping them safe.

Narrator: The King asked Hikoboshi many questions and, in the end, invited him to dine with the Royal family in the Sky Palace that night. The cow herder hated to leave his cows but knew it would be rude to refuse. So he made his way across the Amanogawa to the Sky Palace. The King made sure to seat Hikoboshi next to Orihime and before the night was through the princess found something she loved more than weaving, and the cow herder found something he loved more than tending his animals. In no time at all, they were married.

[King ties a ribbon around their clasped hands]

Orihime and Hikoboshi: I will love you until the stars burn their last flame.

Narrator: With each passing day their love for each other grew. Over time they forgot about things like weaving and cow herding. Soon the fine garments of the Sky Kingdom became tattered and torn, and the prized cows across the river began to wander. They left their safe field and traveled on rocky, dangerous ground. They ate grass that made them sick and many of them died.

King: Orihime, you’ve neglected your duties far too long. Look at my robes! They’re in shambles. I’m the Sky King and yet I look a beggar. Get back to your weaving and sewing!

Orihime: I’ll do it. But please, allow Hikoboshi to sit with me as I sew.

King: Absolutely not! Hikoboshi, you must leave at once and go back across the Amanogawa and tend your cows.

Hikoboshi: I’ll do it but I won’t leave Orihime behind. Please, let her come with me and join me as a cow herdess.

King: No. I forbid it. She will stay here and weave and you’ll return to the fields. Your King commands it.

Hikoboshi: I’m sorry, Your Majesty, but if she stays, then I stay.

Orihime: I won’t be alone again, father. If Hikoboshi must go across the river, then I have no choice but to follow.

Narrator: The argument continued until the King had no choice but to remove Hikoboshi by force and banish him back to the field across the river. To make sure that his daughter stayed in the Sky Palace and did not run away to join her husband, the Sky King destroyed the only bridge between the two banks. With a mournful heart, Orihime resumed weaving and sewing. The Sky Kingdom dressed in fine garments once again, yet somehow they were less radiant than everyone remembered. Across the river, Hikoboshi returned to herding the cattle. They regained their health, yet somehow the beasts were less impressive than they’d been in the past.

King: I had to do it. They cared only for each other. They didn’t care about the kingdom anymore. If I’d left them alone we’d all be naked with no milk and no meat. The kingdom would fall into ruin. Wouldn’t it?

Narrator: Orihime worked diligently. But she never smiled anymore. The King didn’t want to recant on his order but he couldn’t stand to see his daughter so miserable. After a long time he came to a decision.

King: The kingdom cannot do without its best weaver and its best cow herder. But, because they cannot do without each other, I will allow Orihime and Hikoboshi to see each other one day each year. On the seventh day of the seventh month, I will order the magpies of the sky to fly down and form a bridge between the banks of the Amanogawa. That is how they will meet and part.  

Narrator: And so, every year after the King’s proclamation, the lovers met on the seventh day of the seventh month. Sometimes the princess would travel to the cow herder’s side. Sometimes the cow herder would travel to the Sky Palace. But always, when the time came for them to part, the King’s magpies would seek out and carry the displaced lover back to their own bank. Many years and many meetings later Orihime’s weaving resumed its former brilliance, and Hikoboshi’s cattle grew into extraordinary beasts. But what they were most proud of was the vow of love they had managed to keep despite the river that ran between them.  

FIN

A.D.D. and a blog that's all over the place!

Life has been incredibly complicated lately. In March, Hannah, F, and I went to Seattle to drive F to a wedding.  We visited my aunt and cousins, went out to Whidbey Island, visited the Tsubaki Grand Shrine in Granite Falls, and had a wonderful time. When we got home, however, we took our sweet baby Galen to be put down at the emergency vet's clinic. His bronchitis had turned into something much worse and he was fighting for breath. It was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Until that night, I'd never been present for the final moments of any of my fur-babies. Somehow I'd always been away (school trips, college, too young to go in, etc.), but with Galen I was not only in the room, I was the one holding him. We said our goodbyes and he went limp in my arms. We were a mess.

After that life picked up again for a while. I fell ever more behind on my novel - working and working on parts of it and nit-picking so slowly that I thought I would never get a full draft done in time for the second reader. But in the end, I did. I took four days off from work and spent every single waking moment sitting (on the couch, on the toilet, at the library, at the table, on the bed, in the living room, at the desk) and writing. I became physically ill and perhaps mentally ill as well. Between writing bouts I would tromp around that apartment like a gorilla or laugh maniacally and alternate between screams of "I can do it!" and "I'm going to diiiiiieeeeee!" I didn't expect to finish but I did. Just barely though, I finished shitting out the final part of a major chapter at about a quarter to noon on Saturday and then ran to Fed-Ex to catch the overnight pick up by 1:15. I printed everything out, snapped it together and sent it on its way for about fifty bucks. A hefty price but if I manage to graduate then its a price I'm willing to pay. 

After that I went to work. My boss has been a negative Nancy since our previous Assistant Manager retired. The new ASM is a nice person and I like her but I don't know if she's the perfect fit for the group of girls who work here. When it's just her and me working it's great, but some of the other girls have issues and on some days it feels like we're in middle school again. And I hated middle school. I desperately need a different job but now that it seems I shall be graduating (and please, I still need everyone's prayers and positive energies on that front), I will stop looking for the moment and focus on looking after I return from Boston in July with my MFA! It should be easier to get a decent job after that but we'll see.

In other news, I just got the class list for the MFA residency and I'm very excited. I'm going to start reading the required pieces tomorrow. Now I just have to update my bibliography, get a decent synopsis written by the first of May, and have a revised and *finalized* draft sent to Sandra by the fifteenth and I'll be looking pretty good. Then I have to detail out what I'm doing for my class - I think I shall take lots of notes while at work this next week or two - and get my workshop pieces written and ready. And then I shall take a huge breath. Also I'm going to write down every single date that I need off from work in the next two months because I'm tired of missing rituals and celebrations. I am going to miss the IEPG celebration Beltane this Saturday and I sort of want to do something fun on my own, but what I'll probably end up doing is just going to Hastings after work to participate in free comic day. Not quite the welcome to fertile summer that I had hoped for. 

Other, other news: Hannah and I will be adopting my aunt's cat, Ray. He's an older kitty (I think he's about 8 years old) and she wants to re-home him. I understand her reasons and I've told her in the past that I adore the kitty and if she needed to place him somewhere that Hannah and I would take him in a heartbeat. Well, she has agreed to send him our way. I just hope Narcisa can handle a new big brother. He's a gray short-haired complete lover boy and I cannot wait to welcome him into the family. I would like to have a welcoming ritual for him as well as a remembrance ritual for the boys (our sweet babies Yoda and Galen). The kitties are a huge part of our lives, emotionally and spiritually, and I want to express that in a divine way. 

That's all for now. Blessed be and good night. I took today off to just relax and rest and tomorrow begins the next chapter of a very stressful novel called 'my life.' 

Oh also, F and a few friends of our with the IEPG think I need to get checked out for Adult A.D.D. I've always had attention and focus problems but they seem to have escalated to a very destructive level lately. It may be that I just need to adjust my anxiety and depression medication but something definitely needs to be done. 

And in other, other, other news, my poor father is suffering from the same type of infection that I had in January. It seems he and I are cellulitis twins. Lovely. His infection is in his leg which really sucks but at least he isn't having to go to the hospital every twelve hours for IV antibiotics. I do have some good news about all - I sent in all the paperwork to see if our county's social services could help me out some with the bill and they not only helped, they wrote off the entire thing. All nine invoices are now balanced at zero. When I got the letter in the mail I nearly cried I was so happy. Maybe things can keep looking up. Dad is going to get better very soon, mom is going to get a new job this fall, and I'm going to graduate and so will Hannah! These things will happen. I have to believe it.

My Own Private North - and the Jobs Don't Bite

Today Hannah and I went to spend time with a coworker of mine.  We finished up American Horror Story: Freakshow and ate tacos.  I have to say that after finishing up that insane train ride, I don't think my Death Man novel is nearly as fucked up as my fellow Solstice peeps think it is!  I suppose I'll just have to take Sterling's advice and make it much worse and much hotter.  I told my coworker about the 'make it worse; make it hot' mantra.  I still hold that phrase very near and dear to my heart. 

Recently I watched the movie 'The Interview.'  Many of the jokes in the movie seem too far fetched to come from truth (the idea that the Supreme Leader is so much like a god that he doesn't even go to the bathroom), but last night I watched the Frontline Documentary on North Korea which was filmed two years ago... and even the most bizarre aspects of 'The Interview' were actually based in truth.  In fact, 'The Interview' was pretty fucking accurate. 

When watching all of these things about North Korea, I realized that my little dystopian city is actually quite like a microcosm of this country.  That my Luminary is the Supreme Leader and that he really does have god status among the elite and the serving class.  People fear him instead of love him, but they act like they love him because their fear what will happen if they don't.  In North Korea, people are executed for watching foreign movies and television (these things are regularly smuggled in by defectors and others).  It's frightening to me that my novel, which I intended as a model of Sharia Law and Christian Fundamentalism, is actually a modern day portrait of North Korea.  All dictatorships have common threads, of course, and so it's not surprising the my dystopian mimics NK - it's surprising that it perfectly mirrors it!  This has made some things very simple for me as I find I truly have a perfect model for the awful society I am writing about - albeit on much smaller scale.

Apart from inundating myself with North Korea, and sketching and re-sketching maps for Le Nord (North City), and creating a timeline of how North City came into being and who ruled when and how - I've also been filling out job application after job application. So far I've had several email responses saying thanks but no thanks, but no bites.  A little bit ago I filled out the application to get into the Spokane Housing Authority lottery - I'm pretty desperate at this point.  We need things to happen, we need a life of our own again.  I'm doing what I can, but we're pretty financially drained at this point and pretty much out of options until I can finally snag another job.

Also, about four more bills from Kootenai Hospital have rolled in. I'm looking at upwards of $7,000 now - which is more than I make in a year.  As soon as my W-2 gets in I will go to the business office and have a nice long chat - also I'll refill out the FAFSA, and get my taxes done, too.  I'm hoping for a decent return and should manage one unless something's different from last year.  So we'll see.  Life is hard, as per usual.  But just like the cat dangling from a tree limb on the famous inspiration poster, I'm going to just 'keep hanging on.'

Bills, Maps, and the Lessons of Water

I got the bill finally from the whole hospital fiasco.  As it stands I'm over $5,000 in debt to Kootenai Health.  Next step is to go in and get the debt settled as much as possible.  In other news, I've been applying like mad for some other job.  It's so frustrating because I do really enjoy my job and I really love some of the people I work with.  But I can't survive on nothing and that's pretty much what this job pays.  It's a blessing that I'm still getting the pay increase for now but soon that'll be gone just like my hours are pretty much gone and then I'll really be up shit creek.  

In other, other news: I drew a map for my dystopian novel and I'm really quite proud of it.  I am either going to use colored pencils or watercolor to give it some life but I think I want to make a copy/scan of it first just in case I totally ruin it in the effort of trying to make it pretty.  Like the image below.

Last night was the Spirituality Circle in Spokane.  We talked about the element of water and it was really interesting and got my creative juices flowing quite a bit.  I have a great many things I want to do so that I can incorporate water into my daily ritual for health in body and spirits. 

Talking about water at the Circle brought up some really cool memories for me.  Cool and humbling I should say.  When I first went to Germany to volunteer for the Girl Scouts Overseas, I learned to canoe down the Main River (pronounced like 'mine').  Starunner, Eeek, and I (my camp name was/is Quetzal) all joined forces as team Colorado during the test run down the river.  We boasted of our natural talents having come from the land of white water and how we were going to show our prowess as Canoe Queens.  Well, of course, Team Colorado tipped right on over into the river.  We were the only ones who tipped in fact.  A small lesson in humility. 

Another memory where water kicked this Virgo's ass was when I worked at another summer camp, this one was in Post Falls.  Hannah and I went to work for a summer camp program as one-on-one aides for young adults with specialized needs.  I worked with one young individual who was non-verbal, a bit prone to violence, and a complete water hater.  Well... one of the outings found us all at a lake.  There was canoeing.  So of course I wanted to get out there and play!  I spent about half an hour convincing my client that I wouldn't let him get wet, that I was a professional at this.  And finally he let me lead him to the dock and then carefully down into the canoe.  He was doing well.  But then I stepped down into the rocking boat and it was all overboard from there.  I found myself standing almost knee deep in lake muck with a six foot teenager clinging to me for dear life much like a cat when faced with a bath.  He was not happy.  Hannah's clients however found it hilarious.  I was actually really proud of my client that day - he didn't freak out on me or get violent, he just stared at me with sad puppy eyes while I got him out of the lake and got him cleaned up.  

Sour Grapes and New Goals

So, now that we are really getting into the first month of 2015, I feel it's good to stop and reflect on how I 'do not' want the rest of the year to go.  So far I've been to the ER nine times, been called in for an interview with TSA only to be told I 'failed the interview portion of the airport assessment,' and I've had some serious monetary struggles due to missing work for my health.  From here, things can only go up.

I've adopted sour grapes as my motto for the first part of the year: I had been really upset at the situations preventing me from going to the MFA residency at the start of January but now it seems that providence was on my side.  I probably would have had to go to the ER in Boston and that wouldn't have been good for anyone, ergo, it's better that I ended up with the extended semester.  And it's good that I did not get the TSA job (even though the money and the benefits would have been amazing!) because I am not a robot in my work and I enjoy interacting with people more than stiffly shucking them through a line and I would have ultimately despised my job.  So back to the job hunt and better luck next time.

I have so many hopes and dreams for this year.  Instead of listing 'resolutions' I'm going to make a list of my overall goals for 2015 and they are pretty straightforward and, I think, very achievable. My Goals are as follows: finish my Creative Thesis and Graduate from Pine Manor College, get a better paying job, use better paying job to get an apartment for Hannah and I, move to Spokane, volunteer with the Spiral Scouts and the IEPG, enjoy and celebrate a dear friend's fall wedding, and begin preparations for a Handfasting/Wedding ceremony for Hannah and myself which is most likely going to happen in the spring or fall or 2016 or 2017.  I think all of these things are within my ability to accomplish.  

As far as smaller, daily goals that I want to start putting into practice: daily meditation and daily lesson, daily writing, and a rekindled effort toward better health through exercise and positive food choices.  Something else I want to start doing again is drawing.  I miss the connection of hand to paper, also my friend gave me a finger drawing table from Wacom and I think that actually might be something to start playing around with, too.

Starting the New Year in the Emergency Room

New Years itself was pleasantly spent with friends playing cards and Monopoly. The next day however, the small bump on my shoulder (over the trapezius muscle) was no longer the small irritated bump it had started out as three days ago. It was large and painful - very painful - and while I wanted to brush it off as an ingrown hair that had gotten too big for its britches, my mother, girlfriend, friend, and friend's grandmother all said to go to the ER. I didn't go that night. I took some pain medicine and pushed through. The next day, January 2nd, during a delightfully slushy snow storm, I managed to make it into Heritage Health.  

The Physician's Assistant took one look at my 'near-to-the-neck' infection and sent me over to the ER with instructions for them to ultrasound the area and get me started on IV antibiotics. Apparently the ER doctor didn't get the memo. Instead of a sonogram, he came at me with a needle of Novocain and a scalpel.  Several years ago a cyst ruptured in my ovary. The pain from that was the worst I had ever felt in my life.  Until the scalpel. This man hurt me so badly that all I could do was sob and sob until my guts ached and my head felt ready to explode.  And then... after he cut me and found no way to release the infection... then he ordered up the sonogram.  During all of this he didn't even get me a damn pill for the pain. I don't think he even believed I was in pain at all - just some stupid girl bawling cause she isn't happy.  Ugh.  Anyway, the sonogram hurt, too, as he pressed down right onto the infection.  He did it right there in the little waiting room - using small sonogram tools including the vaginal probe.  Not sure why.  Also, I forgot to mention, I was alone during all of this.  They wouldn't let Mom or Hannah go back with me because I was in a room set up for three people and it would be too crowded. Only there was no one else there.  It was just me and two other empty beds and a shit ton of free space.  I was not amused.  

Dr. B didn't even wipe off the gel from the sonogram, didn't even patch me up. He ordered me pain medicine and antibiotics that I could go pick up at the pharmacy. And he said if it doesn't get better in two days to come back. Big fucking surprise - it didn't get better. So back we went to the Emergency Room. This time I was taken to a room and given a proper ultrasound but only after being hooked up to an IV and given lovely, lovely pain medication.  Afterward I was started on the IV antibiotics that had been called for two fucking days ago. No. Totally not bitter. And so off I went on my merry way. And back again and back again and back again - every twelve hours to wait the requisite hour through triage just to get a five minute dose of keflex shot into my IV. In the end I went to the ER a total of nine times, eight of those were for IV antibiotics.  I saw a different doctor almost every time.   The few I saw more than once were really sweet to me. But I'm not going to lie - I'm glad I won't be seeing any of them again any time soon. And now begins the battle with the business office and to show them how destitute I am and see if there's any way to write off some of the expenses. I can barely afford to pay Heritage Health at $25 a visit so I'm not sure how I'll handle the much larger amount that I've amassed in 2015. What a great start to the new year.