Flower Power: A Divine Pair

This past full moon (Wednesday, May, 10th) I led a small ritual with a few friends. We were trying out a new space and just sort of getting a feel for the land spirits as well as trying to tame a bit of the magical chaos we had all been feeling lately. We celebrated the full flower moon with candles, sage, flowers, and a water centered magical activity. I had planned to write out a meditation to lead but as I began writing it felt off somehow. So, instead, I selected a Plant Ally Meditation from Youtube that I believed would encompass what I wanted to achieve with the meditative portion of the celebration. It probably would have. But it was recorded too softly for us to be able to utilize it during the ritual. I was faced with either improvising a meditation or scrapping it. 

Thank the Goddess I chose to wing it. I did a Plant Ally Guided Meditation that took us into a dark and thriving forest to a small plant hidden within a rotting log. We each drew our respective plant-life from the decay and formed a bond with the spirit inhabiting the flower. After the meditation I asked everyone what their flower was and what the spirit looked like. It was really neat to hear everyone's experience. Magically I was able to relax enough, even while speaking, to find my own flower. At first I wasn't sure what it was but it was a red full bloom, thin, tissue-like petals. I realized it was a poppy. This surprised me as my favorite flowers are Bleeding Hearts, Tulips, and Fuchsia. So I tucked this away, planning to look into the symbolism and the 'why' later. Hannah's flower was a blue daisy. Again a bit of a surprise since she's an Orchid and Rose girl all the way. 

Hannah learned later that the Daisy is Freyja's flower. It was sweet, like the goddess was waving to Hannah saying, "I'm still here with you!" 

The fact that flower was blue in Hannah's meditation is also interesting. It's one of the most calming colors in chromotherapy. It is also healing and it is the leading favorite color of the human race. It is above us and below us and universal. When I think Daisy I automatically think white so the blue was very deliberate. To be honest I didn't think blue daisies actually existed outside Hannah's meditation. I was wrong. They are quite real and quite lovely.

Inspired by Hannah's flower Ally and symbolism, I did a little research into the meaning behind the Poppy flower. The Poppy, of course, produces the poppy seed which leads to opium and all sorts of sleep inducing highly addictive substances. But the archetypal correspondence for the flower is actually Morpheus, the Greek god of Dreams. Which is rather appropriate as my last name literally translates into: the dreamer. 

I'm a huge fan of Neil Gaiman's Sandman series and of dream analysis/divination and mythology in general. One of my stories deals with a Baku which is benevolent creature from Japanese folklore that survives by eating dreams, specifically nightmares. 

When I was younger I had vivid reoccurring dreams about an old robed woman who came down every night to make sure my family was asleep and if were caught awake, she would kill us presumably. It was a terrible dream, one which I had every night for months and months. Looking back on it now I wonder if it was my fear of mortality already creeping in at the tender young age of 6. Many of my dreams live on in story form or help me to create characters. So, long story short, the Poppy seems a very apropos Ally. 

Here's where it gets really interesting though:

For about two weeks I've been working as a freelance transcriber through Rev.com. It's not a huge amount of pay but I figure I can bring in an extra $25 or so a week and get a few side bills paid down (or, more than likely, put it all toward wedding expenses). Well, the other night I had a job that gave me some pause. As a transcriber we are supposed to type what we hear and not correct things that are misspoken by the speakers. Well I had a speaker say an author's name but she said it way off. I discovered the correct name and was debating on whether or not to put the correct spelling in or try to phonetically tackle the speakers gross mispronunciation. So I went to the forums on the site to see if anyone else had asked a similar question.

I didn't find my question but I fell down an immediate rabbit hole. There were so many interesting topics and threads. After perusing for a few minutes I stumbled upon a thread of a transcriber asking for help listening to a 3 second sound bit to see if anyone could pick out a certain word. The content dealt the energy and balance and the goddess. So of course I was curious! I clicked on the link to the audio and found that it was actually a video recording. I saw a woman speaking to a camera and thought nothing much of it until I noticed what was behind her: poppies and blue daisies.

Until that moment I would never have thought that red poppies and blue daisies could be a thing. Hell, I didn't even know blue daisies were a thing until researching them after Hannah's meditation. Shocked and inspired by this, I went on a google search to see if I couldn't find a picture of the painting behind the woman (you know, on the off chance that it was a classic or well known painting). I didn't find the painting but what I did find was further evidence of the marriage between red poppies and blue daisies.

Apparently these two flowers pair up nicely on many fabrics and prints. Perhaps a more popular pairing is poppy with cornflower or poppy with white daisy, but there was enough red poppy and blue daisy to convince me that not only is this combination a thing, it must somehow stem from some kind of archetypal knowledge. How random for Hannah to see a blue daisy and how utterly strange for me to pick a poppy. And yet, maybe it wasn't random or strange at all. Maybe it was just what we needed. I'm not entirely certain yet what the synchronicities mean for me or Hannah, but I know there is meaning and I find deep comfort in that.

Here's to the Death of 2016

Happy New Year everyone. And I'm so glad it is a new one. 2016 was made of suck. In true Hannah and Amanda form we have yet to send out cards and letters. These are coming, I promise. They may arrive in July but, much like the ukes in Sensitive Pornograph, they are definitely coming. 

2016 took so many people and pets from us all. And it didn't leave without a fight. In the last week I managed to cut myself nice and deep on my thumb (new knife for Christmas doesn't leave one wanting!) and break all my nails. They are my natural nails and I'm used to the longer ones occasionally meeting with a jagged death but not all fucking ten nails at once. I look like... like... someone who cuts their nails. It's horrendous I tell you! 

But not all of the end was bad. There was a spontaneous Hobbit extended editions marathon one day. And Yule was made of ash, mead, reindeer fur, and three lone souls bearing witness to the birth of the new sun after the longest night. And what a sun it is! We've had some beautifully sun shiny days. Cold as fuck but sunny at least. 

Looking forward to the future: Hannah and I are going to start writing 6 hours a week. That's the minimum that Brander Sanderson, the author of the Mistborn series) prescribes his students in his college writing class. I think 6 is fair and more than doable. I think I shall start with a short story and then return to Death Man. I need to finish that so that I can do two things: send it out and get on my life! Haha. I feel trapped by my desire to make it perfect, but I keep forgetting what my first MFA mentor told me and that is - it will never be perfect. There will always be a sentence you wish you could tweak or a phrase that you want to go back and hash over again and again. In short, you will never be finished writing. You're never finished composing. But there comes a point when the book itself is finished with you. And that's where I need to be. And soon. 

There's a wolf moon coming up and I would like to greet the full moon in her splendor with wolf howls in the night. I remember last year's Wolf Moon and want to relive the energy though in a much more contained way. The aspect of wolf I want to explore this year is the cunning and sly aspect, the clever watcher from the shadows. I want to embrace those shadows for all the secrets and knowledge that may lie within. 

In other news: the two kitties are getting along remarkably well. They tolerated/cuddled on the same cat bed last night for four hours. However, Narcisa it seems is feeling very under the weather. She's thrown up (very tiny amounts) twice this week and this cat never throws up. I mean she's a rock solid warrior princess, she ain't got time for that shit! Yet she's thrown up twice that we know about and her voice is ragged and scratchy. That may be a result of all the hissing she threw at Thorin when he first came to live here but I think she's caught a cold or something. We're taking her to the vet on Thursday because we're paranoid mommies and don't want to just say "Oh, she'll get over it on her own" because what if she doesn't? What if she suffers for our negligence? So to the vet she goes.

Weekend To-Do, Sick, Preparing for Halloween

August was so incredibly busy. The second September began I tried to apply the breaks but things just seemed to speed up even more. I put together a party for Hannah's graduation and it was a screaming success. Damn I am a such a stress case though. I was on the verge of panic for the first two hours or so of prep and getting the party started. Thank you to my humans who helped so that I could relax a little. Overall it was so nice though. A nice start to the mass of parties we are going to be having as we slip into a Autumn full of celebration. We'll be attending as well as throwing Halloween parties, pulling together for full and new moons, and even tossing in a few birthdays.

First thing's first though: I need to get some things in order. For this weekend I have a very small but very 'must do' list. This has become slightly more complicated however since I'm also sick. I didn't go to work today or yesterday. I was so out of it this morning I couldn't even call work to let them know. My supervisor called me. I will have to apologize extensively on Sunday but this year has been horrible for my immune system. I thought I would be doing better since being exposed to new germs via bus riding but that doesn't seem to be the case. Seasonal changes have always been hard for me, but my lungs and sinuses aren't even following the seasonal schedule lately. They just sort of say 'fuck it' whenever they please and suddenly I'm wiped out.

So, that being said. I'm going to try and accomplish a few things amidst getting lots of rest and drinking lots of fluids. Firstly, I want to make a few smudge sticks for Halloween. That should be fun and totally easy since I can do it sitting at the kitchen table. Secondly, I need to read over, edit, solidify and resend out my short story to various places. Thirdly, I need to decide exactly what I'm going to submit for the Inkshares contest and make a plan to have that done and submitted by next weekend. Fourthly, I need to get the laundry under control. (The last one would be easier if my lungs weren't burning but we can't always have it the way we want it, can we?)

As we move into fall and Witch's New Years, Hannah and I look forward to hosting a Halloween party. We're working on the theme today. We are so geared up and ready for Halloween - our house is already decked out with spooky wall decor and cute/creepy figures on the mantel. I've got four pumpkins growing. Two will be for cooking and the other two will be mainly for show. I had hoped to have more but I'm happy that I seem to be growing anything. It's my first time doing any serious gardening and I've been quite happy with my yield. Even if it's meager.

Peaceful Empress and Tending both Mothers

August Break's prompt was peaceful. I wanted to take a picture of myself meditating but my arms aren't long enough to zen out and take a selfie at the same time. So instead I snapped some shots of things around me that made me feel peaceful. 

A peaceful bowl of chicken and dumpling soup at Next Door Espresso for lunch.

A peaceful moment with today's tarot deck.

A peaceful walk back to my work after my peaceful lunch. I love the curve of the building, makes this shot look much more intense than it really is.

Rarity's cutie mark, a pleasant and peaceful reminder of generosity. It was made by a local vendor called Skullflake Studios.

And a couple of peaceful microcosms in my boss's office.

My tarot deck today was the Witches Tarot by Ellen Dugan.  I drew from the Major Arcana today! It was the Empress. This card traditionally means being motherly affection, generosity, and fertility (physically, sexually, creatively). I was curious about what this card meant for me today. I thought, well, sure I need to 'birth' my creative ideas into words and novels, but the image of the mother was very striking and spoke to me above the creative fertility. 

I understand it now: on my way home from work I called my mother and asked if Hannah and I could come over tonight so that she and I could make a cake together tomorrow and so that Dad and I could watch a movie together. I called her and I understood right away that it was my turn to be generous and motherly. She confessed how hard up they are right now and how they had to go to the food bank the other day. Mother told me that she cried after going. All she wanted, she told me, was something fresh. And they don't get their money until much, much later. 

Tonight I'm bringing my Mommy and Daddy fresh cherry tomatoes from my garden, as well as my large lemon boy tomato. I'm also bringing them some kiwi, bananas, a few oranges, and bagels. Also, because she asked so cutely if I had any ice cream, I am bringing the left over vanilla from the soda floats that I made on for the Sturgeon Moon Esbat. We'll doctor up the ice cream with some frozen fruit and chocolate syrup. It won't feel as much like a food bank week if we eat a banana split or two I surmise. It feel good to tend to mom and to help her out a bit. 

My parents are amazing people and do their best to help me out whenever I need a little money or food or company and I'm happy to return the favor. And there's something especially nice about bringing them food from my garden, from Mother Earth. The first thing I did when I got home today was go out and chop away the dying vines off the pumpkin. I trimmed down the bachelor buttons and the forget-me-nots (both are all done with their blooming at this point) and watered all the green babies. Today I am the Empress. I'm a generous motherly woman tending to both my mothers. 

Sturgeon Moon Last Night - 5 Years Ago and The Rede

Last night I celebrated the Sturgeon Full Moon. We made Dryad boats and I led a Sturgeon hunting guided meditation. The prompt for August Break that day was "Five Years Ago" so while getting ready for the Sturgeon hunt we chatted about where we were five years ago and if life was better or worse. The general consensus was that life kind of sucked five years ago. But I would also like to say that out of the 'pain' and 'wrongness' of five years ago, we are all now here. So even though things were bad, they were necessary in a way. I have a picture from five years ago. I have many pictures from that time but I think this is the only one I'll share. It is a picture of my silly face on Halloween 2011 shortly before Hannah and I moved back up to Idaho.  

Five years ago... I had no gray hair. Interesting.

The August Break for today is 'Hands' and I'll be posting a picture of my hands later. I'll also check off another item on my Summer Bucket List (painting each nail a different color)! But for now I'm just going to share my silly sinister ice queen grin. 

For my daily tarot draw: last night I drew a cared from The Well Worn Path deck. I drew the Rede. According the card guide book this card usually shows up when someone is questioning their own integrity in belief and their reasons for their actions. For me it, this card cements that I need to seek my heart's desire. I need to put myself out there with perfect love and perfect trust as it says in the Wiccan Rede. Today, after I rest for a few and recuperate from the shock of how goddamned expensive my bras are, I'm going to edit the first chapter of my dream-eater novel.

My draw today was from Tarot of the Mystical Cats. This deck was given to us by the daughter of a dear friend. The cats in it are gorgeous and I think the card I drew today is going to be the new kitty someday. Hannah's wanted a big fluffy orange boy kitty for a long time and the Fire King is perfect.

The Cat's Advice: Stand proudly and claim your own power. No one can deny that you have what it takes to be a good leader, and you inspire others with your confidence. Whatever task you undertake now can be accomplished well if you apply all of your energies to it.

I think given my decision about editing and getting my submission to Inkshares and Geek and Sundry ready to go, this fire kitty (King of Wands) is sort of a nod from the divine saying, "Yeah, okay, we know you can do this. So do it." Just look at that gorgeous cat up there on his pedestal so regal and confident. He expects something of me and I know he can make my life a living hell if I don't give it to him. Such is life with cats. 

Aine of Knockaine

Believe something and the Universe is on its way to being changed. Because you've changed, by believing. Once you've changed, other things start to follow. Isn't that the way it works?

Diane Duane

Side note: I just came back from the pool and hot tub. While I did rinse off in the shower, I still smell (and apparently taste) strongly of chlorine and chemicals. For some reason Narcisa is crazy about this flavor. It never fails that when I return from a pool outing she finds me suddenly incredibly interesting. For about ten minutes now she's been sitting in the chair next to me gnawing on the skirt of my swim suit and, occasionally, my arm. It's the sort of lazy gnawing that speaks nothing of challenge or play, just pleasure. She's such a hedonist.

This Monday is the Strawberry/Rose Full Moon (a.k.a. the Mead Moon). I've offered to put together a small ritual to be performed at a relaxing shindig at our friend's house. After browsing Moon Magick by DJ Conway, I've decided to honor the goddess Aine of Knockaine. This goddess is Queen of the Fairies. She's a goddess of midsummer, of fertility, and of love. She is invoked in the forming and keeping of vows (especially magickal vows), as well as in punishment for sex crimes. In researching her a little online I came across several blogs with posts concerning the Fairy Queen (Voices from the Dawn, Journeying to the Goddess, and GoddessSchool.com) and have formed the opinion that Aine of Knockaine is quite the bad-ass. 

In one story, the King of Munster rapes her but during the act she manages to bite of his ear, thus causing a deformity that makes him unfit to rule as King and pretty much ruining his life. As with most folklore/myths this story is an allegory: if you rape the land by taking what isn't yours to take, it will come back to destroy you in the end. I love this. I love the justice of it. Treat the earth with the respect she deserves. She is all we have on this plane. She is just as much a part of us all as we are all a part of her and it's nice to meet Aine, an avenging/Karmic angel, who defends herself and her lands.

For my ritual I'm going to include a variety of elements. Since Aine is the Midsummer Fairy and since the Solstice is the very next day I'm going to honor the Sun in addition to the Moon. And since I'm also focusing on the Strawberry and Rose aspects I'm going to make my own version of Shabartee Gulab (which is a rose and pineapple drink mentioned in DJ Conway's book) and this will serve as the ale part of 'cakes and ale.' For the cake part I'm debating on a sweet treat or fresh fruit. Also I'm going to use an onion in the ritual. I have missed group spirituality like this and can't wait for Monday night. I'm writing little pieces of the ritual here and there, though overall, I have found that just speaking from the heart in the moment is much more satisfying. Still, I'll probably have a few phrases and invocations to share here tomorrow. Until then, Blessed be.